The 10 Best Hard Rock/ Metal Songs to Listen to in a Blizzard

If you, like I, live in the East Coast, then you are seeing this shitty snow storm that we are getting.  With most transport dead or running really fucking bad, most of us are stuck inside. As much as this type of weather sucks, it has inspired some cool metal music. The following is a list of the 10 best songs to listen to in this awful snow. I kept it to one per band, otherwise, they would all be Immortal songs. Enjoy!

10. GWAR- "Pure as the Arctic Snow"- Hey, if your band's origin states that you come from the freezing world of Antarctica then you know you're gonna make this list! This is a fun, catchy, and punky little tune.

9. Autopsy- "In the Grip of Winter"- Slow, crunchy death metal song from these pioneering masters of the sub-genre. This one feels like blocks of ice that pelt your face hard, until your fucking skull caves in.

8. AC/DC- "Black Ice"- Actual black ice genuinely fucking sucks. This song, however, does not. A badass title track from this AC/DC album, it combines a great groove with ass kicking blues. The result is a great headbanger of a good time!

 

7. Trivium- "Silence in the Snow"- Melodic and catchy title track from the most recent Trivium album has the usual phenomenal musicianship this band is known for. Cool video, too!

6. Betray The Martyrs- ''Let It Go''- Totally ass kicking, metalcore cover of the most popular song off of the overrated Disney flick Frozen. Betray The Martyrs makes you want to get into the pit with this or possibly mosh in the snow.
Added bonus: If you moshed in the snow right now, there would probably be no one to think you are insane for doing so! Go do that shit, right now!

5. Dissection- "Frozen''- This song from black metal masters Dissection feels bitterly cold and distant. It bleeds a dark, evil, and lonely feel with melodic-ism and heaviness.

4. Accept- "Winter Dreams"- Arguably the most beautiful song on here, this underrated Accept ballad has a haunting and heart and soul felt feel that makes it one of the best tracks to listen on a frozen, winter night.

3. Metallica- "Trapped Under Ice"- From Metallica's second, and second best, album comes this lightning (pun not intended) fast all out assault on senses. This thrash metal classic almost topped this list, but honestly only two other bands could have done that.

 

2. Abbath- "Winter Bane"- When former Immortal frontman Abbath had his solo project you knew that there would be some songs about the cold and snow. This single off of the self-titled debut album highlights all that is awesome about one of last year's best albums. Thundering yet catchy black metal at it's fucking best and coldest!

 

1. Immortal- "In My Kingdom Cold''- Oh come on, you knew an Immortal song would be number one! Or at least you should've known! It was just a matter of which song from one of the best black metal bands ever would be chosen. In the end, I picked this blast(beat) of cold air. This IS the definitive blizzard/ snow storm/ winter nor'easter song!

What songs would add to this list? And, to those of you stuck in this craptastic weather, stay warm, safe, and metal!

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Monster-Mania March 2017

Yesterday, on March 11, 2017, my friend, and Master's Minion, Freddie and I hit Monster-Mania. It was unquestionably the most brutally cold MM, ever. Well, at least of the ones either of us have ever done. And, it should be noted that Freddie has done way more than me! It was also even more packed than usual thanks to John Cusack and the cast of Stranger Things. I didn't meet either or (although I am a HUGE Strangers  fan), but I did meet other celebs and do other fun stuff. Which resulted in us have one hell of a time!

The first person that I went up to was Amy Dumas, AKA Lita. The lovely WWE Hall of Famer was pretty cool and laid back in person. I got the autograph for my friend Alan, while I got the pic with her for myself.

The main autograph room was packed as fuck with fans, so we waited till later in the day to meet the rest of celebs. In that room, I first went up to Adam Green. He is the director of films like the Hatchet I & II, Frozen, and others. Adam is one of the nicest guys ever! He posed for pics for free and signed whatever you brought with you for free. I paid cause I bought season two of the awesome and terribly underrated Holliston, on Bluray, from off his table.

He talked to Freddie and me for a little bit and even told us about the horrors of shooting Hatchet III in a real swamp (bugs! bugs in butts! mosquito bites!)! I told him that I recently mentioned the amazing Hatchet II as one of the The 10 Best Slasher Movies You (Probably) Haven’t Seen. He was gracious about that, and is really, an all around awesome dude.

Kristy Swanson was really at the top of my list to must meet this weekend. Her line moved slow and she had to leave to do a photo-op. However, the wait to meet her was worth it! She is so sweet and nice in person, as well as drop-dead gorgeous! She still looks AMAZING! I was dorky enough to tell her that when I was a kid and saw Deadly Friend, that I totally got a major crush on her. She said, "Aww!"

Kristy signed my Deadly Friend DVD cover. She asked if I had the disc with me, but I had only bought the cover. I guess she would have signed the actual disc too? Don't know, but I am so happy to have met her!

 Now, let's look at some of the awesome cosplay that I saw in that room:

 I get killed by Jason, a lot, don't I?

 

Later in the day, I stopped by Troma and got a pic with Lloyd Kaufman and the Troma team! As usual there were some beautiful Tromettes on hand at the con.

I am most happy about the fact that I got to run into my friend, adult performer and horror actress, the drop-dead gorgeous and hot as fucking hell Nadia White! I was a little worried that I would miss her, but that obviously didn't happen. Nadia is so fun, sexy, and bubbly in person, that she really always brightens the mood where ever is at. So, that despite the fact that by this point I was exhausted, I was very feeling joyful, all of a sudden. She had a mold of her butt-hole with, which is pretty fucking hot, needless to say. She told me about all the porn stuff she has lined up. All I will say is that she is one busy, hard working, and naughty babe! You gotta love her!

As I said earlier, we had a fucking blast. It was a great time, that was, for me, quite frankly needed. Great to meet celebs and run into friends. Including, among them was one that I had been friends with forever on Facebook, Elizabeth who runs Archivists Bet on Sexy Witches and The Halloween Horror Movie Marathon Madness over on FB. 

I also picked up some cool swag, of course: 
A Funko Pop Predator (which is apparently getting harder to find)
Blu-rays of: the aforementioned autographed Holliston season two
Turkey Shoot (AKA Escape 2000) from Severin
and, I FINALLY own Shout Factory Death Wish II Special Edition which features the long unavailable (in the US) unrated cut of it, which I bought of off the Diabolik DVD booth.
And, finally from Fright-Rags I got a tee of my favorite movie of all time, Re-Animator and a air of Frankenberry socks!

Did of you guys go to Monster-Mania? Who did you meet and what did you buy? Let me know in the comments, below.

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Horror Crush: Monika M.

Having caught up on writing for work, it's time to do a little original writing for my site. And, what better way than to pay love to a horror crush? This time around, I show love to one of the sexiest women in extreme horror history: Monika M.!

The gorgeous Monika M.'s first and most famous, as well as infamous role, came in Jorg Buttgereit's Nekromantik 2 (1991). A direct sequel to his own controversial and repulsive art-house/ cult classic, part 2 takes place shortly after the ending. Those of you who saw it will recall that that film's whacked-out necrophile killed himself via harikari, after which his dick shot semen and blood! Anyways, the beautiful Monika (Monika M.) digs him up for her own necrophiliac desires. When she meets a nice guy, named Mark (Mark Reeder), who does ADR (Automated Dialogue Recording) for porn flicks. She likes him, but she is more turn on by a rotting corpse. Can she keep this putrid secret from him and will this relationship work?

Very rarely do I think I sequel is better than its' first movie. However, Nekromantik 2 is just that. It's easier to enjoy, but will still disgust just about anyone who doesn't have a taste for the twisted and perverse. Monika is a big reason why I prefer this movie. Yes, it terribly slow at times and stock footage of a dead seal getting sliced up is repugnant and unnecessary. But, the film overall flows better and is more interesting. Monika, though, it what really makes much of the movie worth sitting through. She is quite good in her role. And, honestly, it's very easy to like her, despite her desire for decomposing pricks. Like? I mean fall in love with her.

And, let's not beat around the bush (pun not intended). She is fucking gorgeous! And, she is at times also naked. Her body is perfect. I remain in awe each time I pop this movie into my Blu-ray player.

 

  

She also composed some of the music for this puketastic flick, like the beautiful song below. It plays in such contrast to extreme and vile nature of the movie. In many ways, it accompanies and plays perfectly with Monika's own inherit beauty.

She returned for another Buttergereit flick Schramm: Into the Mind of a Serial Killer (1993). I sadly never saw this but, I know it still very much an extreme horror piece. She, of course, looks great. Any of you out there saw this one?

Finally, she appears in the documentary about Buttergeriet's movies, Corpse Fucking Art (1987). But, I haven't see that either! What the fuck is wrong with me? I know I deserve a major fail for these fuck ups.

I really wish there were movies with Monika M. in them, as she is perfect! Those beautiful eyes of her, her gorgeous hair, her sexy and beautiful body, it all just makes any horror fan fall for her. Without a shadow of a doubt, Monika M. ranks among the most beautiful and hottest women in European horror. And, dear readers and friends is NO small feat. And, so it is with great honor and love that I add Monika M. to this site's Horror Crushes!

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Kay Brandt Ventures into Mainstream Horror with ''Cutters''

I recently guest write-up over at Covered by Saintilus/ Go United. There I talked about porn filmmaker/ author Kay Brandt's venture into horror movies. You can read that here: https://coveredbysaintilus.blogspot.com/2017/03/kay-brandt-ventures-into-mainstream.html

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15 Thrash Metal Albums That You Need In Your Collection

My latest article from Monkeys Fighting Robots, where I choose the 15 Thrash Metal Albums That You Need In Your Collection. Please read it here: http://www.monkeysfightingrobots.com/15-thrash-metal-albums-need-collection/

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The 10 Best Slasher Movies You (Probably) Haven’t Seen

I got another article up on Monkeys Fighting Robots. It's all about the 1o best slasher flicks that your probably haven't seen.
Here it is. Please read!: http://www.monkeysfightingrobots.com/10-best-slasher-movies-havent-seen/

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Why ‘Commando’ Is One of the best Action Movies of the 80s

Check out my latest article for Monkeys Fighting Robots, as I give the 1980's Arnold Schwarzenegger classic Commando lots of love. And, I tell you why it is one of the best action flicks of the 80s.

Please, click on the following link and read it: http://www.monkeysfightingrobots.com/commando-best-action-movies-80s/

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Five Favorite Films from the Year I Was Born: 1976

Fellow readers and fans, I would like to announce that I am now writing for Monkeys Fighting Robots, my first article is up. It is about my five favorite movies from the year I was born in 1976. You can read it here: http://www.monkeysfightingrobots.com/five-favorite-films-year-born-1976/

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GHOSTHOUSE (Review)

Title: Ghosthouse
Director:  Umberto Lenzi (as Humphrey Humbert) 
Writer: Cinthia McGavin 
Cast: Lara Wendel, Greg Rhodes, Mary Sellers, Ron Houck, Martin Jay, Kate Silver, Donald O'Brien
Year: 1988
Min: 95

A creepy and weird little girl has an even creepier toy clown doll, which her dad stole from a corpse for her. When said dad finds out that she has just mutilated a cat, he decides to lock her in the basement. Soon after both he and his wife get sliced and diced. 20 years later, Greg Rhodes (Greg Scott) picks up some screaming on his radio. Using his computer he figures out where it came from. Accompanied by his pretty girlfriend, Martha (Lara Wendell), they head to the source, which is, of course, the house from the prologue! Along the way they meet an annoying hitchhiker with a tendency to play pranks, cause you, that's what stupid and annoying characters did in 80s splatter flicks. They also encounter a group of young friends who decided to check out the house, cause they honestly have nothing better to do with their free time. When the crazy groundskeeper tries to kill one of them with the meat cleaver, the authorities think it's just the dude being a whack-o. However, it's the house who is soon racking more and more of a body count.

Let's call a spade a spade here, and just say that Ghosthouse is an Italian rip-off of Poltergeist with a bit of Amityville for good measure. It was released in Italy as La Casa 3 (The House, if translated to English). In doing this it came come off as a sequel to the Evil Dead films, released there as La Casa 1 & 2. Directed by scholckmeister Umberto (Cannibal Ferox, Rats: Nights of Terror), this flick is by most definitions a pretty bad movie. But, I'll be damned if isn't a fuck of a great time!

The plot, such as it is, is fairly incoherent, dumb, and derivative. You won't find any new ideas here, right down to blood coming out of a faucet. Nor will you find any good acting. In fact, in that department it's downright terrible. Throw in some hilariously bad dialogue and will find much to laugh at, unintentionally of course! There is an annoying as fuck song that is played throughout the movie and is described as a nursery rhyme by one of the characters in the movie. Though, I have no idea what universe that would be the case, other than the universe this silly movie exists in., that is

Oddly enough there are moments of genuine creepiness, that hint at a better movie. But, they are offset by the bits of bad cinema. One thing that is consistently good are the splatter FX. The gore includes blades through the throat, hangings, fan blades to the neck, axe to the head, acid meltdown, corporal bisection, and more. The graphic violence is pushed further than the movies it bites off of, in true Italian fashion. It all gets wrapped up one a cool and decidedly fun ending that will leave you smiling and maybe laughing. I did both!

Ghosthouse is rather silly, unoriginal, and doesn't always make a whole lot of sense. The acting is pretty awful as is the unintentionally hilarious dialogue. But, instead of hurting the movie it just adds to the fun. Fast paced and gory as fuck, the movie is a great treat for undiscriminating gorehounds. It was released on Blu-ray by Scream Factory a few years ago in a double billing with the not as good, but still OK Witchery (which stars Linda Blair and David Hasselhoff and is known in Italy as La Casa 4!). It is also streaming on Shudder, currently.

2.5 out of 4

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TRUTH OR DARE (2013) (Review) (Women In Horror Month 2017)

Title: Truth or Dare
Director: Jessica Cameron
Writers: Jessica Cameron, Jonathon Scott Higgins
Cast: Jessica Cameron, Ryan Kisser, Heather Dorff, Shelby Stehlin, Devanny Pinn
Year: 2014
Min: 84

A group that posts videos on the internet known as the ''Truth or Dare-Devils'' are incredibly famous due to their wild and extreme take on truth or dare. They are on a talk show, where one of their fans, Derik (Ryan Kisser) is angry that they have ignored his e-mails. He is also pissed that much of what they do is fake and planned out. Soon after, he invades the new place where they are going to shoot their next online video. He holds them hostage and is determined to take their show to new and very real levels of extreme violence and bloodletting.

Truth or Dare is the 2013 directorial debut of indie scream queen Jessica Cameron, who also co-wrote the script, along with Jonathon Scott Higgins, and stars in it. It is an unflinching and harrowing movie that makes us all know that Cameron will be a force to be reckoned with in the horror world. It is one of the most exciting and savage directorial debuts, in a very, very long time, as well as the finest bit of extreme cinema since Martyrs.

The story is simple and, for the most part, the action takes place in only one room. This works to keep the budget low, as well, as add a very claustrophobic feel to it. Cameron keeps everything tight and concise. The controlled environment remains intense throughout the film's duration. It doesn't take very long for the movie to start going and, once it does, it never really takes a break from the soul crushing grisliness of it all.

I usually love to tell you guys all of the splatter and gore content in a movie. However, this movie best works when you have no clue what is coming. All I will say is the violence is extremely graphic and does not hold back. Much of what transpires in the movie is boundary pushing. It will test your limits and will shock even the most jaded of gorehounds. Here Cameron's directing is at its most visceral presenting and shooting the violence in a most intense and gut-wrenching manner, making every bit of gore feel and look real.

In lesser hands, this may have come out as only a mindless case of goregraphy. However the movie touches on hot and controversial topics with bold abandon. The movie never plays it safe, nor is it afraid to make us question the morality of our lead characters. Never going for the politically correct or easy escape the movie is a shocker in the most true and pure sense. It also manages to serves as a social commentary on society's obsession with internet fame, and what some will do for it. As well, as a commentary on obsessive and psychotic fandom in general. Most of the time the editing is seamless, but at times it uses jump-cuts. This helps to give the movie a sometimes frantic feel and adds even more tension to what is happening on-screen.

All of this is further elevated by some excellent acting. The trio of drop-dead gorgeous women in this film, Cameron, Heather Dorff, and Devanny Pinn, all indie horror stars in their own right, are all excellent and are far more than just pretty faces. Like their equally talented male counterparts, they managed to give complex performances that run the gamut of emotions. Kudos, in particular, to Ryan Kiser, who as the antagonist, Derik, who is genuinely frightening and profoundly disturbing throughout.

Truth or Dare is an unflinching and truly harrowing movie. It's one of the most audacious and exciting directorial debuts in a very long time and sets up Cameron as a directorial force to be reckoned with. Gruesome and a true experience in hardcore splatter, in ranks among the best of extreme horror titles. It combines social commentary and a script that isn't afraid of going anywhere and couples it with excellent acting.

After a long and award-winning run on the festival circuit, it has finally hit DVD courtesy of Invincible Films. Directed by one its stars and starring two more indie horror ladies, this comes just in time for Feb, Women In Horror Month. Hence now, is the perfect to time to see the next movie that you will not stop talking. If you have the fucking guts to see, that is!

4 out of 4

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