It's time to honor another beauty from our genre, as we once again, induct an actress into the Horror Crushes section of our site. For this induction we are go with German beauty Lara Wendel star of many Italian horror films.
Lara Wendell was born in Munich, Germany on March 29, 1965. Her parents were German actress Britta Wendel and American football player/ actor Walt Barnes. At four, she was modeling for ads and by age seven she made her acting debut in 1972 with giallo flick My Dear Killer (1972, Mi Caro Assassino). She appeared in many ontroversial films like Maladolscenza (1977), La Petite Fille en Velours Bleu (1978, Little Girl in Blue Velvet), Mimi (1979), and Desideria: La Vita Interiore (1980). Why were they controversial? Well they featured underaged actors nude and/ or involved in sexual situations.
At around the same time, in 1979, she appeared in a horror movie called Ring of Darkness, AKA Satan's Wife. Have any of you seeing this one? I haven't but would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section down below.
Her next horror flick, is the one that I first saw and crushed on her in: Dario Argento's Tenebrae. One of my personal favorite movies, and Argento's third best film (after Suspiria and Deep Red) this stylish and bloody tale of an author who inspires brutal killings of beautiful women is an absolute masterpiece. It also might just be Argento's most gory movie with an incredible wall painting amputation via axe being an absolute highlight. It ends on of one the best finales in genre history. There is also some incredible camera work, a great soundtrack, and some truly gorgeous women.
One of these stunners is, of course, Wendel, who plays a student and plumber who assists our main character with fixing his pipes. I mean this literally not figuratively. Who knew plumbers were this beautiful? The scene where she gets dumped by her date, then chased by an unrelenting doggy, and ends up at the killer's house is not just a great example of someone having a really shitty night. But, it's also a fucking killer scene from start to finish. Well, actually all of Tenebrae is!
In 1986, she came back to the genre in Lamberto (Demons) Bava's Midnight Killer. This is another one I have never seen but apparently is a giallo where a cop is suspected of being a serial killer. Anyone of you guys seen this one? If so let me know your thoughts below.
1987 saw her in Joe (Beyond the Darkness) D'Amato's Zombie 5: Killing Birds (AKA simply Killing Birds). Fuck, this movie is awful. It is incredibly stupid and, honestly, not very interesting. It fails both as a zombie movie and a killer animal movie. But, hey Wendel is in it, so it has that going for it. Oh and the poster art (right) is really cool, too. Oh wow, I came up with two nice things to say about this one!
Wendel continued to work with Italy's most renowned horror directors by appearing in 1988's Ghosthouse from Umberto (Cannibal Ferox) Lenzi. This movie is Italy's gore drenched answer to Poltergeist and The Amityville Horror. It's stupid as hell, for sure, but has some incredible splatter scenes including blades to the throat, acid meltdowns, body bisections, and more. It's ultimately good, braindead fun. Wendel actually plays the lead here, as she accompanies her boyfriend in investigating a haunted house.
Her final horror role came in the form of The Red Monks, which would also end up being her second to last movie. This is another one, I haven't seen, but she again plays the lead. This time as a new bride, who wonders why her hubby spends more time in the basement than with her. OK, seriously, what is wrong with this moron?! Anyway, apparently this film also features some nudity from her. So, I definitely need to see this flick! Any thoughts on it, from you guys and gals?
And so, two years later, in 1991 she would appear in her final movie Husbands and Lovers. She would retire soon after. But, with her exquisite beauty and work with some of Italy's most legendary horror directors, Lara Wendel has achieved legend status, herself. It is with that, that I feel honored to induct her into Horror Crushes!
Director: Arseny Syuhin Writers: Samuel Stewart Hunter (English adaptation), Arseny Syuhin Cast: Milena Radulovic, Sergey Ivanyuk, Nikolay Kovbas, Vadim Demchog, Kirill Kovbas Year: 2020 Min: 113
Anya (Milena Radulovic), a Russian expert on infectious diseases, is called to help with a deep, underground, and massive Soviet research facility, named Kola Superdeep. She goes in with a team to find out what has happened there, since they haven't heard from the stationed team. What they discover is a deadly and contagious, fungal organism that infects the body and spreads all over it, mutating the host's body into hideous and grotesque forms. And, if it ever got out would ravage the world.
Superdeep is a Russian sci-fi/ horror movie from director, co-writer Arseny Syuhin that is very loosely based on the real life Soviet Kola Superdeep Borehole. This body horror and contingent flick is in English, which should help to please those that hate reading subtitles. The movie is also a monster film and takes in elements from Alien, Aliens, and The Thing. Unfortunately, it never reaches the quality of any those movies.
To its advantage, it is a very good looking movie. The cinematography by Hayk Kirakosyan is gorgeous. Particularly beautiful are the cinematic shots of the snow covered environment outside of Superdeep. The film, overall, has some good production values helping to enhance the visual appeal of the film.
The acting is decent enough. Though, it is the absolutely gorgeous Milena Radulovic who is given the most to do. As lead character, Anya, she provides us with a strong and likable performance, and, at the very least, we care what happens to her. Unfortunately, the other characters are somewhat thinly written and harder for us to give a flying fuck what occurs to them.
The gore is definitely alright. But, it is the body horror aspect that gives the movie its most horrific visuals. The FX are good, and while it takes an hour and a half for us to see the monster, it does look cool. At least as much as we are able to see of it, hanging a nightmarish appearance to it that pleased this creature lover.
The movie's biggest problem is its pacing. And, at an hour and fifty-three minutes it feels terribly overlong. It stretches the thin plot to its maximum capacity. A simple story in a film like this isn't inherently bad, witness similarly themed flicks. But, when stretched out in the manner that it is here, it does the movie no favors.
There is a really cool concept here. One that even if not the freshest, was enough to keep me intrigued, at least at the start of the film. But, the flick ultimately drags. I kept thinking something exciting would happen, but it never really does. One of the movie's most potentially thrilling scenes, involving Anya and extreme heat, is dragged out so much that it takes away any of the nail-biting power it should have had. The movie simply never takes full advantage of its own premise and doesn't give us the suspense, intensity, action, or horror that this story should have.
Superdeep is, from a purely technical aspect, competently made. The film has good production values and solid FX. The acting is mostly just OK, though lead Radulovic is quite good. The idea of this infectious and deadly contingent is an interesting one and feels quite relevant to today's world. Unfortunately, it never reaches its full potential. The movie is dragged out and way too long, for its own good. It also lacks any real tension or suspense. Superdeep will begin streaming exclusively on Shudder this Thursday, June, 17, 2021.
Director: Lars Damoiseaux Writers:Lars Damoiseaux and Eveline Hagenbeek Cast: Maaike Neuville, Bart Hollanders, Benjamin Ramon, Clara Claymans, Annick Christiaens Year: 2019 Min: 96
Alison (Maaike Neuville) is a pretty, young lady who heads to a cheapo Eastern European clinic with her boyfriend, Michael (Bart Hollanders), and her sexy mom Sylvia (Annick Christiaens). Alison wants to get a breast reduction, meanwhile her mom wants to get yet another face life. Michael, meanwhile, is wandering around the hospital, while being led by a young, junkie, male orderly. Together, they head into an abounded ward.
There, Michael finds a young, topless woman gagged and strapped to an operating table, He takes the gag off of her and soon realizes that something is wrong with her as she turns aggressive. Both of the dudes leave immediately, and the naked lady frees herself. She is, of course, a zombie, and soon an infection that cause the contaminated to be flesh hungry and nearly unstable (save for the classic destroy the brain scenario) are unleashed in the hospital. Soon all of these characters, along with doctors, nurses, and other patients, must ward off the deadly and ever growing and spreading zombie horde.
Yummy is a Dutch (though the majority of the movie is in English), horror/ comedy/ zombie/ contamination movie. And, it's an awesome one at that! The humorous flick is really funny and gory. It is an immensely good time to be had, and I, honestly, loved it!
The script, by director Lars Damoiseaux and Eveline Hagenbeek, has some really witty dialogue that adds to the fun. The movie's story develops nicely. And, while it is very humorous, it also knows when to take itself seriously. For like most of the best horror/ comedies, the flick realizes that the horror should remain an actual threat.
As a director, Damoiseaux keeps the movie really well paced. The action scenes are very exciting and well shot. I also love that the movie turns darker and more serious as it moves along. But, thankfully, it never feels morbidly depressing, even if some turn of events will shock you. A great example of this is how the the contamination/ virus aspect feels very timely in our world today. But, thankfully the movie is so much fun that this never brings you down or adds to your current feelings of uneasiness.
It's such a wild movie, too! For example, there is a scene where some zombie dude, quite literally, eats out a chick, guts and all! Speaking of guts, this one really amps the splatter content with flesh munching, head bludgeoning, an arm put through a shredder, impaling, axe to the head, and more! But, it is a scene involving fingers is gonna have even the most hardcore of gorehounds wince! This is all achieved through excellent make-up FX, that also manage to make the zombies look menacing and really cool.
There are also some really beautiful Euro-women in this. And, bonus, there is even some boobage on-hand! Leave it to the Europeans to actually have nudity in a horror movie. It's a nice and welcome surprise. That said, the movie is equal opportunity, in its nudity though, as there is a scene involving a penis. However, I think it's safe to say, that it is a prosthetic. Because what happens to said dick one of the flick's craziest and most laugh out loud moments!
The acting is quite good, especially from the beautiful and voluptuous Maaike Neuville, in the lead, as Alison. She adds a lot of heart to a believable and extremely likable heroine. Bart Hollander really brings Michael to life, who is easily one of the most unlucky heroes in modern horror. You definitely like the guy, even if you are laughing at him. After all, Michael is a good dude with a well meaning heart. The absolutely gorgeous Clare Cleymans plays Janja wonderfully cold and stern and really brings that character to life. Everyone else in the cast also deserves credit for their performances.
For as sick as we maybe of zombies, it's nice to see a movie like Yummy come out to reinvigorate and make the sub-genre cool again. It's well acted and the plot develops nicely. The movie is also a prime choice for those of us who yearn for horror flicks that rank a "10" on the splatter-meter. Throw in some nudity and you have what really could only come from Europe these days. In all, this is one gorehounds, zombie lovers, and fans of fun horror/ comedies need to put at the top of their to-see list. Which is something you all will be able to do this starting this Thursday, June 25, 2020 on Shudder (US and UK).
Title: The Cat o'Nine Tails Director: Dario Argento Writers: Dario Argento, Bryan Edgar Wallace (uncredited) Cast: James Franciscus, Karl Malden, Catherine Spaak, Pier Paolo Capponi, Horst Frank Year: 1971 Min: 112
Franco Arno (Karl Malden), a blind man, is walking with his little niece Lori (Cinzia de Carolis), when he overhears talk about blackmail emanating from a parked car. Later that night, one of the people in the car breaks into a large medical complex named the Terzi Institute. The following day the cops and a reporter Carlo Giordani (James Franciscus) investigate the break-in. As, Franco and Carlo run into each other, Carlo introduces himself.
In the meantime, Dr. Calabresi (Carlo Alighiero) tells his fiance, Bianca (Rada Rassimov) that he knows who the person who broke in is. At a train station, he gets pushed in front of a train getting killed. Franco, who used to be a reporter before his blindness occurred, works with Carlo to uncover the truth. Carlo, meanwhile, begins to get close to the daughter of Terzi (who runs the institute), Anna (Catherine Spaak). She talks with him about her father's work on research that reveals that killers have a chromosome difference that is XYY, the extra Y indicating murderous tendencies. While, this is all going on anybody, who gets close to finding who the murder is or somehow gets in the killer's way, gets killed violently. And, as our heroes get closer they and, in the case of Franco also his niece, find themselves in grave danger.
The Cat o'Nine Tails is Dario Argento's second film, as well, as his second in his so called animal trilogy. Though, aside from being giallos' with animals in their titles they really don't have shit to do with each other. The cat in this title has to do with 9 leads that are connected to the murder yet, they can't unravel it. Whatever the case maybe it's a solid and entertaining mystery/ horror/ thriller.
While, his later movies have a much more over the top and wild style, his touches of style are still clear and present in Cat. There are some nice shot compositions and well done point of views. They help to make the movie that more visually compelling. The score done by the master, himself, Ennio Moriconne, enhances the suspense and feel of the movie.
The film moves at a pace that slowly builds. It's handled in good manner by all involved so that it keeps you intrigued and entertained. The scene in the cemetery is admit ably quite suspenseful. While, the shattering climax is not just the movie's highlight, but one of Argento's early career, as well.
It was a huge hit in Europe, but not here in the US. In this country, it was released in a rather butchered GP (AKA PG) version. This eliminated much of the film's violence and gore. While, not on the level of his later movies in terms of splatter content, they are, in their uncut form, quite vicious. Thank the horror gods, they can be seen uncut in the DVD and Blu-ray releases of it. The shocking train kill is probably the most memorable out of these. Somehow and thankfully, though, Spaak's topless scene did make it in the American cut. Proving that back in the day you get away with a lot with in PG-rated movies!
Speaking of Spaak, she gives the weakest performance in the movie. She is mostly very flat and lacks much of any emotion, instead just giving the camera lots of blank stares. That being said, she did have great hair before Farrah Fawcett ever did. The rest of the cast, though, is quite good. Especially James Franciscus and Karl Malden, who are both very likable in their roles. Malden has a very sweet chemistry with little Cinzia de Carolis, who gives a great performance, especially when you take into account her young age.
This movie is actually Argento's least favorite movie of his. But, personally speaking I think it is better than The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, if only cause the story is more compelling and memorable, even if it is somewhat nonsensical. But, fuck it, it's so entertaining that you
shouldn't be giving much of a shit.
The Cat o'Nine Tails is a bit more typical than the later movies in Argento's career, but there is enough style and quality to hold your interest. The mostly good acting helps it, as does the quality Morricone soundtrack. The rousing and violent climax really gives the movie an extra kick in the ass. A solid giallo overall, I definitely recommend to anyone interested in Argento and movies of this sub-genre in general. Also, if you are looking for just a good mystery thriller with elements of horror, violence, and suspense, then look no further. It has been on DVD from Anchor Bay and later/ currently from Blue Underground. Fans, should really try and get the Blue Underground Blu-ray set of the Dario Argento collection, as it also comes with the superlative Deep Red and the bat-shit crazy Inferno.
Having caught up on writing for work, it's time to do a little original writing for my site. And, what better way than to pay love to a horror crush? This time around, I show love to one of the sexiest women in extreme horror history: Monika M.!
The gorgeous Monika M.'s first and most famous, as well as infamous role, came in Jorg Buttgereit's Nekromantik 2 (1991). A direct sequel to his own controversial and repulsive art-house/ cult classic, part 2 takes place shortly after the ending. Those of you who saw it will recall that that film's whacked-out necrophile killed himself via harikari, after which his dick shot semen and blood! Anyways, the beautiful Monika (Monika M.) digs him up for her own necrophiliac desires. When she meets a nice guy, named Mark (Mark Reeder), who does ADR (Automated Dialogue Recording) for porn flicks. She likes him, but she is more turn on by a rotting corpse. Can she keep this putrid secret from him and will this relationship work?
Very rarely do I think I sequel is better than its' first movie. However, Nekromantik 2 is just that. It's easier to enjoy, but will still disgust just about anyone who doesn't have a taste for the twisted and perverse. Monika is a big reason why I prefer this movie. Yes, it terribly slow at times and stock footage of a dead seal getting sliced up is repugnant and unnecessary. But, the film overall flows better and is more interesting. Monika, though, it what really makes much of the movie worth sitting through. She is quite good in her role. And, honestly, it's very easy to like her, despite her desire for decomposing pricks. Like? I mean fall in love with her.
And, let's not beat around the bush (pun not intended). She is fucking gorgeous! And, she is at times also naked. Her body is perfect. I remain in awe each time I pop this movie into my Blu-ray player.
She also composed some of the music for this puketastic flick, like the beautiful song below. It plays in such contrast to extreme and vile nature of the movie. In many ways, it accompanies and plays perfectly with Monika's own inherit beauty.
She returned for another Buttergereit flick Schramm: Into the Mind of a Serial Killer (1993). I sadly never saw this but, I know it still very much an extreme horror piece. She, of course, looks great. Any of you out there saw this one?
Finally, she appears in the documentary about Buttergeriet's movies, Corpse Fucking Art (1987). But, I haven't see that either! What the fuck is wrong with me? I know I deserve a major fail for these fuck ups.
I really wish there were movies with Monika M. in them, as she is perfect! Those beautiful eyes of her, her gorgeous hair, her sexy and beautiful body, it all just makes any horror fan fall for her. Without a shadow of a doubt, Monika M. ranks among the most beautiful and hottest women in European horror. And, dear readers and friends is NO small feat. And, so it is with great honor and love that I add Monika M. to this site's Horror Crushes!
Plot- On the Berlin subway Cheryl (the lovely Natasha Hovey, below on the left) gets off her stop and is followed by a mysterious, and admit ably creepy masked man (Michele Soavi, who would go to direct some excellent Italian horror of his own). He does so to hand her tickets to a free screening at the Metropol, a newly opened movie theater. She goes to the movie with her pretty friend Kathy (Paola Cozzo). At their seats they are joined by too super preppy guys, who are attracted to both girls and flirt with them. They all sit down to watch the movie with the rest of the movie theater's audience, which include a bunch of different folk including a blind dude and his cheating wife and a pimp and two of his hookers. One of these said hookers, Rosemary (Geretta Geretta) earlier put on a demonic mask that was on display on a mannequin in the theater lobby.
The movie soon starts, and it is an ultra-violent slasher flick. In this movie, a dude puts on a similar mask to one Rosemary cut herself with, earlier; and the movie character cuts himself, too. And, as he bleeds on camera, so does Rosemary in the theater. And, as he ends up becoming a demon in the movie, so does she. When the other hooker goes to check on her, she slashers her. Soon, others fall victim to this as they become demons themselves and turns others into demons, with the movie theater audience is trapped in the theater. There is no way out, and no way to stop the ever growing demon horde.
Review- Demons is an 80s Italian, headbanging, classic gorefest. A full throttle, non-stop assault on the senses, it's one of the most fast paced, unrelenting horror movies ever made. It's a cult classic, and a true heavy metal horror masterpiece. I first saw it when I was a kid and fell in love it from the first viewing I had renting it. It has everything I could ask for then and now: nonstop action, graphic gore, gorgeous European women, and, of course, kick ass metal music. A couple of years later, I would buy it on VHS and watch it ad nauseam, eventually getting the Anchor Bay DVD (one of my earliest DVD purchases due to my love of the movie).
Admit ably the movie isn't perfect. The acting ranges from OK to pretty bad. The plot is pretty straightforward and not the most complex. However, it is in its simplicity that the movie truly succeeds. Once it starts (which really doesn't take that long), it NEVER stops and is always exciting and fun. Bava keeps the momentum up and, somehow, it never tires you out. In fact, you are always involved and entertained, a true adrenaline rush, of which many actual action movies could only dream of being.
Being a righteously unrated gorefest, the bloodletting is awesome and truly graphic. Among the acts of mayhem are: eye gouging, throat ripping, hangings, slashings, stabbings, slicings, impaling, pulsating and oozing transformations, and lots more blood and slime spilled, sprayed, and splattered. This all handled excellently by Sergio Stivaletti who does some truly spectacular practical FX work. Aside from the amazing splatter, the demons, themselves, look awesome and frightening.
They add to appealing look of the movie. Bava makes a great use of colors, with reds and shadows playing a big part in adding some visual flair and style to the proceedings. But, with him and Dario Argento producing (as well as them both being involved in script, along with others), how can this movie not look great?
Speaking of looking great, holy crap, is there ever a bevy of beauties in this movie! Aside from Hovey and Cozzo as the two female friends, who we mainly follow through the course of the flick, there are quite a few stunners in small roles. Among them is the absolutely gorgeous Nicoletta Elmi as Ingrid the usherette (above). With her long legs and long, fiery, red, wavy hair she ranks among the most beautiful women in Italian genre cinema. There is some skin thrown in, as well. Memorably giving some very nice boobage is Bettina Ciampolini as punk/ rocker chick Nina (below). I recall the first I saw this as a kid, I got, as Beavis would say, a stiffee!
The heavy metal and rock music is fucking killer. Let's not kid here, the metal music is a big part as to why this gore loving headbanger loved this movie so much. Kick ass songs from Motley Crue, Accept, Saxon, Billy Idol and more drive this movie to the motherfucking stratosphere. That is conjunction with the thumping and driving musical score by Claudio Simonetti. In all, it is one of the finest horror soundtracks ever!
Picture- Holy fuck, does this Blu-ray look great!! This is a stunning transfer from a movie that is over two decades old. The colors are rich and vibrant, with deep blacks and constant and excellent flesh-tones. It ranks among the best looking 80s horror titles ever!
Sound- You can watch it either in the original mono or stereo. Both sound great, but unless you are a purist, stereo is the way to go. The action scenes and the thrilling and rocking soundtrack will have your system thumping and pumping along. This disc sounds as amazing as it looks and vice versa.
Extras- This is a budget version of Demons. There is a limited edition steelbook version of it, also from Synapse Films, packed with extras. It runs at a much higher price (of course). Anyways, this version only comes with the rather cool trailer. If you are OK with not spending a lot and forfeiting the extras, then go for this. There has a been a recent price drop, making it an even cheaper disc to own, hence (part of) the reason for me reviewing it, now.
Final Thoughts- One of the finest Italian horror flicks, and one of the best 80s horror movies from anywhere in the world, Demons is an essential splatterfest. Sure it is kind of empty headed, but it is so much fun and action packed that any normal fan won't give a flying fuck. Further fuel injected by graphic gore and kick ass heavy metal music this fucker just plain rocks! With a flawless looking picture and killer sound the disc's specs are simply phenomenal. If you are OK with not spending the dough on the limited edition steelbox, and thus not having the special features, then this is the absolute and inarguable way to go.
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