THE NUN (Review)

Title: The Nun
Director: Corin Hardy
Writer: Gary Dauberman
Cast: Demián Bichir, Taissa Farmiga. Jonas Bloquet, Bonnie Aarons, Ingrid Bisu, Charlotte Hope
Min: 96
Year: 2018

In this prequel from The Conjuring universe, we learn about the evil Nun demon first introduced in the The Conjuring 2. In 1952 Romania, two nuns are attacked by a demonic force, while they look for an unspecified artifact. One of them, Sister Victoria (Charlotte Hope) hangs herself, as she tries to escape the demon. The next day, her body is discovered by a young man, named Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet), who makes deliveries to the abby.

The Vatican then precedes to send in Father Burke (Demián Bichir) to go with young nun Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga), who has yet to take her vows. They are taken to the abby by Frenchie, who flirts to the pretty nun (can't say I blame him!). He tells them that the place is one of great evil. Frenchie then leaves and our two heroes stay at the spooky convent. They begin their investigation, asking the nuns about Sister Victoria's suicide. In the meantime, our two holy heroes are haunted by visions, sounds, and other creepy-ass shit. Soon, they are on the path of encountering and finding out the origin of the evil Nun, as well as try and defeating her.

The Nun is making an utter killing at the box office. It raked in $53.5 million in the US alone and 77.5 million worldwide. According to Forbes, this makes The Conjuring the highest grossing R-rated horror franchise of all time, beating out the Alien movies, well when you don't take into account inflation and disregard the PG-13 rated Alien Vs. Predator. Regardless, of its actual placement these are HUGE numbers for a horror movie, especially an R-rated one. It also shows that audiences don't give a flying fuck about the critics who have been shitting on it. So, who is right, the audience or critics? Turns out both and neither, as this film is quite middle of the road.

The movie is very generic and breaks no new ground, as nothing original or new that is given to the audience. It has the same typical beats that you expect to find in a flick of this sort. The film is littered with jump scares, some of which work, others that do not. To its advantage the jump scares are actually the forces of evil causing them. You see there is nothing that pisses me off more than fake jump scares (IE cats, asshole friends, etc), so that at the very least the movie knows to avoid that. But, regardless, it simply does not know how to make a genuine scare that is reliant on suspense building or true terror and not just a loud noise.

It also plays things extremely safe. They're isn't that much gore although there is some gruesome imagery and a little blood here and there to keep it fully out of the PG-13 area. It also throws in zombie like demons, to, I suppose, spice things up. It goes without saying that if you came in looking for anything even remotely similar to an Italian nunspolitation movie you are clearly barking up the wrong tree.

On the bright side, the movie looks really nice. There is a nice Gothic feel and look to the movie. The use of shadows is strong, even if a bit overtly dominating at times. It adds atmosphere to the surroundings, showcasing one of the movie's highest points.

The acting is also excellent. Bichir and Bloquet, as Father Burke and Frenchie respectively, are solid in their performances. Burke may be a generic heroic horror movie priest, but he is at least a likable one. Bloquet's Frenchie is my favorite character in the movie. Likable, heroic, and sweetly flirty, he adds some much needed humor to the mostly serious tone of the film. Pretty Farmiga, sister of The Conjuring 1&2 heroine Vera Farmiga, does a fine job as Sister Irene. She plays her scared but strong and always likable, fans of her from American Horror Story and the superlative The Final Girls will be very pleased seeing her in this.

The climax will keep you interested and is enjoyable enough, even if it really plays everything in a very typical manner. The ending is fine, I suppose. It ties into The Conjuring films, in a way that is clear, if obviously spoon fed to the audience.

The Nun isn't as bad as some make it out to be. However, it really isn't that good either. Generic, by the numbers, and playing it way too safe; it takes no chances. Jump scares abound, although at least these are caused by the actual evil being. To its advantage, it is well acted throughout, and the movie, itself, looks great. I had very low expectations and ended up enjoying it for what it was. It is nothing you need to see right at this instant, if ever. I would advise to not go in  expecting much and you might have a good time. There are far worse ways to kill time with, and if you are a fan of this franchise, my guess is you will see this regardless of what I say. And, hey, at the very least, it's much better than that fucking piece of plastic doll feces Annabelle, so there is always that bit of faint praise.

2.5 out of 4

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The 10 Greatest Horror FIlm Franchises of All Time

Horror franchises, like their villains, never die. This is an undeniable fact. This year alone, we have had entries, of various degrees of quality and success, to The Ring, The Conjuring/ Annabelle, Alien, Chucky, and more. This past Friday marked the return of one of the most profitable, popular, and bloody of them all: Saw, in the form Jigsaw (which has done good at the box office!).

As such, now is the perfect time to ask and answer, which are the very best horror film franchises ever. I have taken into account, the quality of each series and the films there in. The better the movies and the higher amount of actually good films contained therein, the higher the ranking. Longevity, success, and influence are also weighed in. So, sit back and enjoy, and who knows, maybe you will wanna binge on some of these after reading this (it is Halloween on Tues, so now would be the perfect time!).

But first, here are some honorable mentions, in no particular order:
Psycho
I Spit on Your Grave
Predator
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Slumber Party Massacre
Re-Animator

10. Final Destination- One of the most outright fun horror franchises ever made, the Final Destination movies are gleefully gory and imaginative in their creative kills. They don't always have the best characters, and not even the best film (that would be the first one, of course) in the series is great. But, none of the movies are bad. And, that is certainly more than I can say for most of the franchises here.

9. The Conjuring- The youngest franchise on this list, The Conjuring Universe is made up of two connected series: The Conjuring, itself, and its spin-off series, Annabelle. While, both Conjuring films are excellent, with the first one being one of the finest ghost films ever, the first Annabelle movie is a load of fucking shit. Thankfully, its sequel, Annabelle: Creation, released earlier this year, is a solid film.

8. Friday the 13th- The franchise with the most entries on this list, Friday the 13th, for better or worse, was synonymous with the genre in the 80s. The original remains one of the finest slasher movies ever made and a prime example of quality 80's horror. It's sequels, crossover, and remake range in quality from the solid (Friday the 13th part VI: Jason Lives and Freddy Vs. Jason) to a piece of cinematic excrement (Friday the 13th part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan). But, the majority of it is dumb fun, filled with some cool kills and hot, and many times naked, babes. And, for anyone who grew up in its era, is one that surely played a big part in their lives as horror fans.

7. Alien- The Alien franchise starts off amazingly with its first two entries. The original is a classic, but then along comes Aliens, the rare superior sequel and even rarer perfect movie, and blows it away! Perhaps the bar was set too high by these two movies, since the franchise could never reach those levels again. It's movies, which also included a semi-prequel, a sequel to that semi-prequel, and two crossover movies, range from the dumb and entertaining: AVPR, to the barely mediocre, mostly shitty: Alien Covenant and Alien 3.

6. Halloween- Perhaps the franchise with the most wildly all over the place continuity, this long, running series has, one sequel that has nothing to do with anything else before or after (Halloween III: Season of the Witch), as well as a remake and it's own sequel. A new sequel has been promised (threatened?), which will ignore everything expect the first one! The original, itself, is a masterpiece of horror and fear, a scary and extremely influential piece of genre cinema. It is arguably John Carpenter's best film. The following movies have ranged in quality from great, like the Rob Zombie remake, which at least attempted something new instead going through the same old motions, to the piss poor: Halloween: Resurrection. That movie is one of the absolute fucking worst entries in a major horror franchise ever! While most comparable to the Friday the 13th movies, I have gone on to appreciate the attempt of these movies at being more serious, especially in the stronger sequels. 

5. A Nightmare on Elm Street- The best of the big three slasher franchise, ANOES always had the advantage over Halloween and Friday the 13th because of characters. Freddy is an innately more interesting villain than Michael or Jason because, he has a personality. The other characters are usually fleshed out better, too, with more of an attempt at making them likable than the cardboard knife fodder of its competition. The series was extremely successful, enough so that it made New Line Cinema (AKA the House that Freddy built!). The first movie might very well be the greatest slasher movie ever. Aside from the sequels, it also had a crossover with Jason and a less than desirable remake. The quality of the movies that followed the first one range from one of the greatest horror sequels ever made (Dream Warriors) to one of the most imaginative meta-horror movies (A New Nightmare) to one of the biggest balls of fucking shit ever (Freddy's Dead).

4. Romero's Living Dead Films- I have to be honest, if not for the last two movies, this franchise would be number one. Sadly, those bring down the franchise to this position. That being said, the first three movies (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead) are perfect. The fourth movie, Land of the Dead, is not on that level, but it still an excellent movie, one of the finest of its kind. That movie was a great way to end the franchise. Sadly, Romero decided to reboot it with the godawful Diary of the Dead. I hated that  movie, and must admit to never bothering with Survival of the Dead. Regardless, of the later entries, this series has three, possibly four, legitimate classics in its series. Most franchises are lucky if they have one, let alone two, legitimate classic films in its roster.  Also, it should be mentioned that at the best of these films, they are smart and profound (not words I associate with most horror franchises), and the gore is fucking phenomenal putting to shame most of the movies splatter content on here.

3. Saw- Perhaps the bloodiest big studio horror franchise, the Saw movies is one of only four film series on this list where I like, to some degree or another, all the entries. I love the plot and writing, and the honest-to-god attempt, and success there of, of keeping continuity. They took the care that Friday the 13th admit ably didn't seem to give a flying fuck about. The acting was also mostly, if not always, solid. The best sequel, the incredibly awesome Saw II, is my personal favorite entry, though, technically speaking the first movie is the best in the series. Yet, even its weakest entry, Saw IV, is still a pretty decent movie, which more than I can say about most of the worst of the aforementioned movies. Even more awesome, the latest film, the damn good Jigsaw, continues the story, and is not a motherfucking remake.

2. Evil Dead- Like Alien, the first two movies are masterpieces. Also, like Alien, its second installment tops its first. Though, the range of just how much better Evil Dead 2 is better than Evil Dead is much smaller than how much Aliens blows away Alien. Anyway, its next installment, Army of Darkness is easily the weakest in the franchise, but it has a huge amount of love, especially among more mainstream fans. That being said, it is still an very fun movie, one that easily tops the worst entry in most, if not all of the aforementioned movies. The remake easily tops it, though, and is one of the best modern remakes around, as well, as one of the bloodiest big, studio horror movies, ever!

1. Chucky- Coming to this conclusion took a lot of thought, on my behalf. But, for as many years as this series has gone on, it is amazing that it is still this damn good, and that it always was. It is the only major slasher franchise, and one of the few overall franchises, where I like every film. Even its weakest movie, Seed of Chucky, is still a very interesting movie, something that cannot be said about the worst stalk and slash sequels. It also, always cared for continuity and had continuously returning characters and actors. Plus, its creator, Don Mancini has been involved with every single movie, and still  is. Other than Evil Dead and the Living Dead films, none of the other franchises can attest to that. The finest movie is the great first film (the classic Child's Play), but its best sequel the fun, wild, and stylish Bride of Chucky is one of the most easy to love slasher sequels ever. Plus, it managed to add a female counter part villain to its lead villain in the form of Tiffany. She is embodied by, what a body it is is(!), and voiced by the gorgeous Jennifer Tilly. No other slasher series can admit to that. The fact that the latest movie, the fucking solid Cult of Chucky, still adds new twists and intrigue (and, even ups the gore!!!) is a testament to the greatness of these movies. And, so it is without question in my mind that Chucky is the king of horror franchises!

What do you think is/ are the best horror franchises? Do you agree with my choice as Chucky as king? Comment below and discuss!

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Horror Crush: Vera Farmiga

It's time for another horror crush. This time I am picking a woman who is currently appearing in horror material and is a total MILF. I am talking about the exquisitely beautiful Vera Farmiga.

Farmiga was born on Aug. 6, 1972 (making her 43) in Clifton, NJ. She's been acting since 1996, but it wasn't until 2007, when she appeared in her first genre flick. It was Joshua. I have never seen and am not sure I ever even heard of it before, writing this. It's apparently a creepy kid flick. Any of you out there seen it? Any thoughts?

She wouldn't return to straight up horror till Orphan, which coincidentally, is also a creepy kid flick! Orphan is actually chilling, fun, nasty, and even a little sleazy. This is the tale of a couple that adopts a weird, little girl (Isabelle Fuhrman) that turns out to be anything but innocence. It's not scared to go beyond what studio horror deems OK material and features a great performance by the whole cast. Especially Farmiga who brings a lot of heart and depth to her performance. While, Fuhrman is creepy and as fuck. Without a shadow of a doubt one of the best flicks of this sub-genre and a favorite of mine that holds up really well to repeated viewings.

 

 

 

2013 saw her in the two roles that would define her genre work: Bates Motel and The Conjuring. Bates Motel is, of course, about the teen life of Psycho's killer Norman Bates. Farmiga plays his mom Norma Bates. This show far exceeded expectations, from the get go, and has gone on to be a fine genre series. It's a great mix of drama and horror. The acting is phenomenal and it manages to be creepy and get under your skin. Farmiga's immense talent and unbelievable beauty are in full display on this show, which recently ended it's fifth season in a spectacular manner.

 

 

The Conjuring remains my favorite movie of hers, as well as being one of the finest haunted house/ ghost flicks, ever. I've reviewed it before so need to talk more about it, other than once again mentioning how great she is in her role and how stunning she looks.

She returned to the same role in the recently released The Conjuring 2. This well done sequel may fall under some horror tropes but the talent in front and behind the camera raises it well, well above the average sequel or ghost flick. Like its' predecessor, it is inspired by a "true story". James Wan, again, proves that he is one of the genre's finest filmmakers. Unlike others he understands how to build tension and even manages to use jump scares correctly. The strong acting further helps the story alone. Farmiga again is amazing and, well, looks amazing, too!

Farmiga is as talented an actress as she is gorgeous. Her beauty is so captivating that, at times, I find myself completely taken away by it. She is truly one of the most stunnung MILFs in the history of horror.

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The 10 Best Movies of 2013

It's that time again, for me to pick my choices for the 10 best films of last year. It took me some time, to get this list just right. But, it's ready, and I hope you enjoy reading it. As always, my top 10 list is probably different than other ones out there, but that's only cause I don't exactly have typical tastes. Well, let's not waste anymore times, here we go!

10. Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox- This adaptation of the  DC graphic novel is exciting. thrilling, and jaw-dropping. Taking place in an altered world where heroes have become villains and war has ripped the world apart, this is the most violent of all the DC animated, as well, as the finest one since Wonder Woman, as well as the best superhero film of all the ones released last year.

9. Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th- The first of two docus to make my list this year, is this exhaustive film which chronicles all the movies, including the TV show!! Immense in it's scope and research this is the docu to end all Jason docus. A must for a fans, though it may take you a few days to get through it!

8. Would You Rather- Perhaps the most underrated horror film this year, this smart and hard edged shocker has one of the best scripts of the entire year. Plus, the acting of both Jeffrey Combs and Brittany Snow are great! As, is the ending, and fans should be pleased that the lovely Sasha Grey is in this, too. See it, if you are one of those that missed this!

7. Evil Dead-  This remake was way better than it had any right to be. Fun and blood drenched this over the top gorefest, might be the bloodiest big studio horror ever. I was shocked to see just how much I enjoyed it, but it ranks as one of the year's most fun movie going experiences I had, when my friend Kristie and I saw it. The FX are top notch and the lovely lead Jane Levy is great addition to horror heroines. Easily ranks among the best of the remakes.

6. Blackfish- The second docu on my list is a moving piece of cinema that had me bawling my eyes out and infuriated at Sea World. I was deeply bothered by the atrocities and horror stories this film revealed. It's caused quite a movement, as it should, and it's expertly told. I swear to never go to Sea World, and after you see this, you won't want to, either.

5. You're Next- Another horror film, with a great script was this fun, bloody, and, at times, funny flick has a great plot and some lively characters, including our beautiful lead, Sharni Vison, who is the best final girl of the year. A kick ass climax and killer ending makes this an even more pleasant viewing experience. It also ranks alongside the best home-invasion horror films ever made. A must see!

4. Kick-Ass 2- Fun, fast paced, and bloody action sequel, may not be as great as the original, but it's a solid film, nonetheless, and, by far, the sequel of the year. I had such a blast watching this laughing, getting all pumped up, saying oh shit, that it just ended up being one of the most fun moving going experiences of the year, for me. Also, Hit Girl still rules. Just saying.

3. The Conjuring- THE scariest film of the year! Nothing comes close to this chilling and terrifying horror tale that is without a shadow of a doubt one of the best haunted house films ever made. James Wan has made his masterpiece. Also, I am in insanely love with the gorgeous Vera Farmiga. Hey, just being honest!






2. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire- A darker and more mature sequel, this one has a far more finely tuned story. Filled with solid acting, excellent effects, and a strong script, it pushes it way out of the zone of garbage like the Twilight films. This is a great superior installment that is quality sci-fi and great film-making all around. The gorgeous Jennifer Lawrence is Hollywood's best young actress. Despite the film's length I found myself swept into it's story and never feeling it. It's kind of lame they split this year's installment and finale into two films (I HATE this trend!), but so is the greed of Hollywood. Regardless, I plan to be seeing, hopefully with my friend Kristie, as soon as we can!

1. American Mary- What more can I say about a film, I have savagely worshiped since I first saw it two years ago? The absolute best movie of the year is one of the very best horror films in ages. A true modern classic from the modern masters of the genre, the Twisted Twins: Jen and Sylvia Soska!

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4 Quickie Horror Reviews for 8/6/13

With me writing for best-horror-movies.com I don't always get a chance to review horror films, on my own for here. And, since I been watching a bunch of them (all of them reviewed by other writers on the above mentioned site I work for), I figured this would be a good chance for me to catch up on some recent horror viewings and share my views and thoughts on them. Maybe this could become a recurring thing, when need anyway.

ALL REVIEWS OUT OF 4 STARS

The Bleeding House (2011)- This somber story about a not so happy family with a dark secret who get visited by a doctor, that turns out to be a serial killer (Patrick Breen) is a solid and well done indie-horror film. There is some very good acting by all involved, in particular from Breen and Alexandra Chando as the family's pretty but weird daughter with a penchant for killing small animals.
The climax and ending are great and had me on the edge of my seat. A good slow burn of a movie, it has been playing on Showtime and is worth seeing. Sadly, for us Time Warner customers, cable is currently out of the question, as a form to see this one. Fuck that. Rent it. Or buy it. Just see it! ***


The Conjuring (2013)- From director James (Saw, Insidious) Wan comes this creepy as fuck tale, loosely based on a true story, about a family who move into a new a house. Soon they are haunted by a malevolent and demonic force. They call a demonologist couple (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) to help them.
Perfectly directed and paced, this fucker is one scary movie! Now, I considered myself very jaded. I mean I been watching horror movies since I was a child, so it's hard to scare me. That means props are in order here. My heart was racing in this one and my eyes were glued to the screen. This one got an R-rating despite having hardly any blood or gore and very little cursing. But, cause it is THAT damn scary!
Great acting too from all the cast. And, man, do I ever love Vera Farmiga. Between this and her role on Bates Motel, she is one of my main horror crushes of the year! This is Wan's best film, to date. Yes, I think it is better Saw or certainly better (and scarier) than Insidious (don't get more wrong I like that movie, but it lost me once the "ghost" was revealed, IE the whole climax). Before this my favorite film of his was Death Sentence. Not anymore. Believe the hype! ****

John Dies at the End- This weird-ass movie has been getting a lot of praise. It comes from horror master Don (Phantasm films, Bubba Ho-Tep) Cosceralli. The plot? Uh, basically two young guys discover a drug that turns people into something not human and kills them. Can they stop this other-worldly invasion?
Actually, there is a lot more that happens. Sometimes this one is a real head-scratcher. It tries too hard to be too weird at times. The slow parts do tend to hurt it. But... it is fun, in the end. The acting is good and most of the FX are well done with some good gore. I don't think it is as great as some have called it. But, it is original for sure, and that's rare in this genre.
If you like Kafka and/ or David Lynch, you will wanna check it out for sure. Even if you don't, be sure to give it a look.
And, one more thing, the flamethrower mask is cool as fuck and reminded me of Megadeth's mascot Vic Rattlehead! ***

Would You Rather- Here is one that came out of no where, for me. A pretty young girl (Brittany Snow) is invited to play a game held by a rich man (Jeffrey Combs) at this mansion. Along with others, she must play a horrifying game of "would you rather" until only one remains alive. That winner will get lots of money and help, in her case for her gravely ill brother.
This is one of the very best movies of the year! The acting is so good, especially from Combs and Snow. Snow really surprised me, more since the last time she had been in a genre film was in the godawful Prom Night remake. Fans should also
note that one of this site's personal favorites, the gorgeous Sasha Grey, is in it as well, as the bitchiest player of "the game".
This isn't the goriest movie, in fact much of the brutality happens off screen. But, it works here, as your imagination runs wild. And, the tension is unbearable at times. A true masterpiece that hopefully other horror lovers will enjoy.
NOTE: the DVD and blu-ray are mad cheap at Best Buy and FYE, so get to buying it! NOW!!! ****

I'm gonna try and do more reviews of more movies for you guys, outside of my job. Hope you enjoyed these and let me know your thoughts on these movies, if you've already seen them!

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