THE NUN (Review)

Title: The Nun
Director: Corin Hardy
Writer: Gary Dauberman
Cast: Demián Bichir, Taissa Farmiga. Jonas Bloquet, Bonnie Aarons, Ingrid Bisu, Charlotte Hope
Min: 96
Year: 2018

In this prequel from The Conjuring universe, we learn about the evil Nun demon first introduced in the The Conjuring 2. In 1952 Romania, two nuns are attacked by a demonic force, while they look for an unspecified artifact. One of them, Sister Victoria (Charlotte Hope) hangs herself, as she tries to escape the demon. The next day, her body is discovered by a young man, named Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet), who makes deliveries to the abby.

The Vatican then precedes to send in Father Burke (Demián Bichir) to go with young nun Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga), who has yet to take her vows. They are taken to the abby by Frenchie, who flirts to the pretty nun (can't say I blame him!). He tells them that the place is one of great evil. Frenchie then leaves and our two heroes stay at the spooky convent. They begin their investigation, asking the nuns about Sister Victoria's suicide. In the meantime, our two holy heroes are haunted by visions, sounds, and other creepy-ass shit. Soon, they are on the path of encountering and finding out the origin of the evil Nun, as well as try and defeating her.

The Nun is making an utter killing at the box office. It raked in $53.5 million in the US alone and 77.5 million worldwide. According to Forbes, this makes The Conjuring the highest grossing R-rated horror franchise of all time, beating out the Alien movies, well when you don't take into account inflation and disregard the PG-13 rated Alien Vs. Predator. Regardless, of its actual placement these are HUGE numbers for a horror movie, especially an R-rated one. It also shows that audiences don't give a flying fuck about the critics who have been shitting on it. So, who is right, the audience or critics? Turns out both and neither, as this film is quite middle of the road.

The movie is very generic and breaks no new ground, as nothing original or new that is given to the audience. It has the same typical beats that you expect to find in a flick of this sort. The film is littered with jump scares, some of which work, others that do not. To its advantage the jump scares are actually the forces of evil causing them. You see there is nothing that pisses me off more than fake jump scares (IE cats, asshole friends, etc), so that at the very least the movie knows to avoid that. But, regardless, it simply does not know how to make a genuine scare that is reliant on suspense building or true terror and not just a loud noise.

It also plays things extremely safe. They're isn't that much gore although there is some gruesome imagery and a little blood here and there to keep it fully out of the PG-13 area. It also throws in zombie like demons, to, I suppose, spice things up. It goes without saying that if you came in looking for anything even remotely similar to an Italian nunspolitation movie you are clearly barking up the wrong tree.

On the bright side, the movie looks really nice. There is a nice Gothic feel and look to the movie. The use of shadows is strong, even if a bit overtly dominating at times. It adds atmosphere to the surroundings, showcasing one of the movie's highest points.

The acting is also excellent. Bichir and Bloquet, as Father Burke and Frenchie respectively, are solid in their performances. Burke may be a generic heroic horror movie priest, but he is at least a likable one. Bloquet's Frenchie is my favorite character in the movie. Likable, heroic, and sweetly flirty, he adds some much needed humor to the mostly serious tone of the film. Pretty Farmiga, sister of The Conjuring 1&2 heroine Vera Farmiga, does a fine job as Sister Irene. She plays her scared but strong and always likable, fans of her from American Horror Story and the superlative The Final Girls will be very pleased seeing her in this.

The climax will keep you interested and is enjoyable enough, even if it really plays everything in a very typical manner. The ending is fine, I suppose. It ties into The Conjuring films, in a way that is clear, if obviously spoon fed to the audience.

The Nun isn't as bad as some make it out to be. However, it really isn't that good either. Generic, by the numbers, and playing it way too safe; it takes no chances. Jump scares abound, although at least these are caused by the actual evil being. To its advantage, it is well acted throughout, and the movie, itself, looks great. I had very low expectations and ended up enjoying it for what it was. It is nothing you need to see right at this instant, if ever. I would advise to not go in  expecting much and you might have a good time. There are far worse ways to kill time with, and if you are a fan of this franchise, my guess is you will see this regardless of what I say. And, hey, at the very least, it's much better than that fucking piece of plastic doll feces Annabelle, so there is always that bit of faint praise.

2.5 out of 4

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THE FINAL GIRLS (Review)

Title: The Final Girls
Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson
Writer:  M.A. Fortin, Joshua John Miller
Cast: Taissa Farmiga, Malin Akerman, Alexander Ludwig, Nina Dobrev, Alia Shawkat, Thomas Middleditch
Year: 2015
Min: 88

Teen girl Max Cartwright (Taissa Farmiga) awaits for her beautiful mom, Amanda (Malin Akerman) who is an actress and is at an audition. Unfortunately it seems as it was a bust, as she cannot escape being connected to the cult classic 80s slasher flick, Camp Bloodbath, that she was in. Even worse, they get into a car crash, and Amanda dies. Three years later Max is still devastated by the loss of her mom. There is a double screening of Camp Bloodbath and Camp Bloodbath 2: Cruel Summer that is going to be held at the local movie theater. Her friend Gertie's (Alia Shawkat) stepbrother Duncan (Thomas Middleditch), and huge horror fan, convinces Max to be present at the screening, being her mom Amanda is one of the victims in the stalk and slash flick. It also happens to be the anniversary of Amanda's death in real life.

At the screening they are joined by crush Chris (Alexander Ludwig) and his ex and Max's former friend the bitchy but super-hot Vicki (Nina Dobrev). They sit and watch the movie when suddenly a fire starts. They head to escape through the back of the movie screen. But, something happens, and they end up inside the movie, itself. There they encounter all the films characters, including it's brutal masked killer Billy Murphy (Dan B. Morris), as well as its' victims, among them Nancy, the character that Max's mom played, and the movie's badass final girl (IE the virginal girl that in a slasher movie battles and defeats the killer), Paula (the gorgeous Chloe Bridges). Emotions run high as they see that they cannot escape the movie and decide to team-up with characters to survive and kill Billy. Max, of course, also sees this a chance to save her "mom", from her death, which in playing with slasher film rules, means she must remain a virgin.

The Final Girls is an excellent meta-horror, comedy that deserves all the good reviews that it got. I actually attended a panel at New York Comic Con last year (the only panel I got to attended, might I add), but I never got to see it until last night when I popped in my recently purchased Blu-ray. I wish I hadn't waited so long to see it, cause it definitely would have made my top 10 movies of 2015 (at the number 6, if you must know), had I seen it then.

The movie is an almost pitch-perfect mix of hilarity, a truly loving tribute to slasher movies, and movie filled with heartfelt moments of pathos. Combining these elements isn't easy to accomplish, not by a long shot. But, goddamn this movie does it! The humor is really funny. I was laughing my ass off at many points in the film. The horror fan, in me, saw that the filmmakers loved and cared about slasher movies, as they are treated with respect and reverence, yet an acknowledgment at how silly they are. But, what surprised me the most was how touching it was. The relationships with the characters were excellent. Especially when it came to Max and Amanda/ Nancy.

They are the heart of the film.And, I cannot lie. There are moments that I actually made me tear up. So this film made me laugh, cheer, and cry. That's no small feat! The acting from everyone is great. I have been a fan of Akerman since The Watchmen, and she is magnificent here. She adds depth, heart, and a hint of sexiness to it all.  Farmiga, best known for American Horror Story, is excellent as well. This young lady's acting ability blows many older actress out of the fucking camp. I have never watched a single episode of The Vampire Dairies and honestly only knew Dobrev as the pretty girl in that series. Well, she is phenomenal here, being funny, bitchy, sexy, and yet, in the end, very likable.

When I first heard about this being PG-13, I wondered how can you be a slasher flick homage and be that rating? I mean most, if not all, PG-13 slashers suck dick and swallow (shit a bunch of R-rated ones do, too!). But, somehow, this movie got me so engrossed that I didn't care about the rating. OK some more graphic gore would have been appreciated. Some nudity would have been fucking great, especially from Angela Timbur, who plays the dizty and slutty character of Tina. As such, she baring her naughty bits would have made sense. But, again, this somehow didn't bother me, too much. Well, not enough for me to lower my views on this film, anyway.

Honestly, my one and only complaint was the ending. I called it and when it happened, I was a little disappointed. But, it is off-shot by the very last thing that happens before the credits role, which is pretty fucking badass. If not for the ending, Lord only knows, how much more I would've loved this movie.

The Final Girls is a phenomenal slasher comedy. One that mixes humor, horror love, and tons of heart seamlessly. It deserves your full attention. The Blu-ray, put out by Sony, looks and sounds perfect. It has some good extra features, including some interesting deleted scenes (no, there is nudity or more gore here, in case you were wondering). If you, like I, made the mistake of not seeing it last year, rectify that shit right now and see it! Oh, and be careful not to see Final Girl released the same year and starring Abigail Breslin, thinking that it is this one. I haven't seen it and, thus cannot pass judgement on it. I'm just saying be sure you see this excellent movie, first.

4 out of 4

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