Title: The House of Seven Corpses Director: Paul Harrison Writer: Paul Harrison, Thomas J. Kelly Cast: John Ireland, Faith Domergue, John Carradine, Carole Wells, Charles Macaulay, Jerry Strickler Min: 90 Year: 1974 Director Eric Hartman (John Ireland) is shooting a Satanic horror flick in an old house where seven occult related deaths occurred. The old caretaker, Edgar Price (John Carradine), warns him to stop and also tells him know the actual facts of the gruesome deaths that occurred in the house. The graves of the seven bodies are buried in the grounds of said house (hence the title!). They find some old occult books and begin to read passages from one of them during and outside of the filming of the movie. This unknowingly leads to the murderous awakening one of the corpses...
The House of Seven Corpses is a classy, if low budget old-school style zombie/ occult flick. Admit ably it isn't great and has it's fair share of flaws, but nonetheless it is quite enjoyable and easy to like. Plus, as a bonus, if you were pissed off that House of 1000 Corpses, didn't deliver on that promise (shit, I don't even think we get 20 corpses in that house!), you'll be happy to know that this one does keep it's title's promise! See, we are already starting off well!
The film's biggest draw is the strong cast. You have three legends here in John Ireland, Faith Domergue, and John Carradine, and as you would expect them to be, are great! Ireland is quite apt at playing a director who, quite frankly, is kind of a dick. Faith Domergue, who previously starred in cult classic This Island Earth is great as well as somewhat bitchy and spoiled lead actress Gayle Dorian. She also happened to still look stunning at approximately 50 years old! Her opening scene were she is performing a devil summoning ceremony is a movie highlight. Some might be disappointed when it is immediately revealed to be a scene within a scene, as the director is filming it for his movie. But I must admit that I wasn't. It's cool and adds a really fun little moment to the proceedings.
Of course, classic horror fans will be most happy with the presence of Carradine. He is suitably creepy and fun to watch as the old caretaker. In some ways his character of Price is my favorite in the movie. The rest of the cast is fairly adequate enough, I suppose. Though, for the most part, none of them are quite as memorable as the three leads. Although, blonde beauty Carole Wells does add some nice eye-candy to it all, even if her performance, itself, is kind of just there.
The movie looks like and feels like a made for TV, but there is also a very welcomed old-school horror feel to it. There are a couple of nice shots, all of which benefit from the large, old house location. Quite frankly, it's all rather silly at times and doesn't always make the most amount of sense. The twist ending is never explained and, quite honestly, the more you think about it the less fucking logical it is! However, I found myself liking the ending so much that I quite frankly didn't give flying fuck about it being nonsensical.
The pacing is admit ably on the slower side. While some supernatural things occur here and there, it isn't until the climax of the film that things really pick up. Despite that, some of the most fun moments come from the film within a film being shot. The slow pace, admit ably, fits the classic, and for the most part classy, feel of the movie.
Sure it's a el-cheapo production (other than the cast that is), but The House of Seven Corpses is a classy el-cheapo. It is legitimately lovable in a crazy 70s cult cinema sort of way. If the idea of a Satanic/ occult, zombie, John Carradine movie sounds like a great thing, and, quite frankly, it should, then you definitely have to make time to visit this house.
Severin Films released a blu-ray of it a few years back. While the picture isn't great, it is quite good and better than any print this movie has ever had; also the mono sound is quite good. Extras included an old interview with Carradine, in which he seems to be taken aback by all the horror questions he gets asked in it, as well as a super entertaining commentary with associate producer Gary Kent moderated by Lars Nilsen. It was recently announced that this title, along with some others, are going out of print. So, if this review convinced you that need to own this one (and I am kinda hoping that it did!), be sure to hurry up and buy it!
Musician: Neurogenic Album Title: Ouroboric Stagnation Genre/ Subgenre: Brutal Death Metal Label: Comatose Music Release Date: Sept. 2, 2016
Neurogenic are a truly brutal Russian/ US/ Italian death metal machine. Oruboric Stagnation is their debut album, and it is an uncompromising and truly vicious slab of extreme music. There guys are gonna be a force to be reckoned with in the underground scene! The songs are fast, brutal, and angry, averaging about 2 minutes and half, more or less, each. They are an all out assault of speed with blast beats, by amazing US drummer Marco (Six Feet Under) Pitruzzella, throughout. It sounds like machine gun fire accompanied by riffs that only slow down to crunch and pummel. Each song is a savage attack from opening to finish accompanied by guttural and inhuman growling from Italy's Matteo (Indecent Excision) Bazzanella. "Immersion" begins with a discordant intro that goes into a Rambo rapid-fire attack. "Endless Outrage" speeds and crunches forward with pummeling ferocity. The shortest song on the album, clocking in at 1:31, "Vortex of Creation" is a crunching instrumental that actually ranks as one of my utmost favorite tracks. By the time the album closes with with "Eternal Path of Enslaved" you will have experienced one of the most savage and unrelenting debuts of the year. Filled with speed, ferocious technical talent, and unbridled savagery Neurogenic's Ouroboric Stagnation is definitely one that fans of truly brutal and extreme death metal will want to own.
Today on Horror Crushes I am going with one of Freddy Kruger's prettiest victims, the blonde and beautiful Brooke Theiss! While, I mentioned her in an all blonde edition of Horror Crushes, it is time to make it official and induct her in by herself.
Thesis was born on Oct. 23, 1969 (making her 46) in Palos Verdes, California. Her first role was in 1988's Little Nikita, but I know her from her breakthrough role in A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 4: The Dream Master released the same year. In that sequel, Freddy kills part 3's Kristen (pretty Tuesday Knight replacing Patricia Arquette). He uses her friend Alice (the gorgeous Lisa Wilcox), who Kristen has passed her dream powers to, to enter the dreams of her friends. He needs her as those kids aren't the original Elm Street teens (IE the kids of the parents who immolated him), and he can't enter their dreams without using her. Theiss plays tough 80s babe, Deb.
Deb is a total 80s hottie with big hair and studded accessories. That right there sealed the deal for me as a little kid, since I have always liked rocker girls. Deb is into working out and has a fear of bugs. So naturally Freddy kills her in a manner that combines both things. As she is working out, Freddy breaks her arms by pushing the weights down on her. Roach legs comes out and replace her forearms, which fall to the floor. Eventually, she is turned into a complete roach that is stuck in a roach motel. Freddy then crushes it resulting in goop pouring out. It all amounts to the movie's most spectacular, gruesome, and memorable death. It is a fan favorite and years later would even get it's own figure (left).
Following the amazing third installment, Dream Warriors, which is the finest slasher sequel, ever, Dream Master is a solid, though not as great flick. Fun and imaginative it made more than $49.3 million in the US at the time of its' release. It remained the highest grossing film in the franchise till Freddy Vs. Jason came out years later. Thesis was a huge crush of mine back then, along with the beautiful and aformentioned Lisa Wilcox (you can see both beauties below), who played final girl Alice, making this one pretty special for me growing up. Thesis is quite good and likable in her role. It's one of the things ANOES had over Fridaythe 13th sequels: better and more likable characters, in my opinion, anyways.
While, not horror, in any way, shape, or form sitcom Just the 10 of Us, debuted the same year and had her star opposite of another ANOES alumni, the original and Dream Warriors star Heather "Nancy" Lagenkamp. I had a crush on both, and despite my still remaining hatred of sitcoms, this is one I had to watch! I don't remember anything about it, though, other than the girls were hotties.
Theiss returned to horror and the Freddy franchise by appearing in the superlative 2010 documentary Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy, where she talked about her role as Deb in part 4. And, she looked gorgeous!!!! She does horror conventions looking more beautiful than ever (the first pic all the way at the top of this article is a recent pic that I found online), though, sadly, I have yet to meet her, as she hasn't done one that I frequent. Brooke, please, do Chiller or Monstermania, please!
Blonde, tall, and blue-eyed, Brooke Thesis may not have done a lot of horror flicks, but her inclusion in the Nightmare franchise is one of the most memorable in the series and one of my biggest crushes growing up. So it is with great pleasure that I officially add Brooke Thesis to this site's Horror Crushes!
Musician: Sarcofago Album Title: Rotting Genre/ Subgenre: Black/Thrash/Death Metal Label: Greyhaze Records Release Date: Sept. 2, 2016
This is a reissue of Brazilian extreme metallers Sarcofago's 1989 classic album Rotting. It features a gorgeous new layout and comes with a bonus live DVD of a performance from their 1991tour with Morbid Angel (who where supporting Altars of Madness, at the time).
If you've heard this influential album, then you know that is incredibly technical proficient and impossibly fast. If you haven't, then unholy shit do you ever need to! There are only six songs on this EP and everyone of them are truly fucking killer. With the exception of the 29 second long intro track "The Lust", which consists of samples of a girl's orgasm sounds and monstrous shrieking, and the almost punkish "Sex, Drinks, & Metal", which clocks in at 3:27, the other four songs are long. They range from the lightning fast 6:03 "Alcoholic Coma" and the epic 8:53 "Tracy". The music showcases technical superiority and complexity. It firmly puts the music in a death metal category and exemplifies just how influential they were in the extreme metal world. Lyrically the band may talk a little bit about boozing, but they mostly lean towards dark and evil subject matter like killing and fucking one's dead, lying girlfriend, anti-Christianity, and hell. In other words, good, wholesome, and tender fun!
Making this even more of a most own is the excellent, quality in sound in this reissue. Sure it sounds dirty and rough, but it's also clear and full. Combine everything I just said and you have an absolute most own for fans of early death and black metal, and those who love to learn about the history of extreme metal.
Title: 31 Writer/ Director: Rob Zombie Cast: Malcolm McDowell, Richard Brake, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Elizabeth Daily, Sheri Moon Zombie, Meg Foster Year: 2016 Min: 102
On Halloween 1976, a group of friends road trip. As they drive down the road at night, their path is blocked by a row of scarecrows. A group of them get out of their van to move them out of the way. But, they are ambushed, and some of them are killed. Those that are left to live are kidnapped and wake up tied and hung. A trio of eccentric old, rich folk (led by Malcolm McDowell) tell them that they have the night to survive a game where a group of psychotic clowns will try to kill them. Each of them has a set of odds as to their survival, which changes as they do better or worse.
Rob Zombie's latest ran into some problems with the MPAA, over it's intense violence. But, what is the actual film like? Well, it certainly has it's fair share of problems, itself. But, it also has it's merits. I should first and foremost say that if you hate Rob Zombie movies, you will not like this one at all. Now that we have that out of the way, all others continue reading, please.
Let me begin with the bad and get that out of the way:
One of my major problems with this movie is how it really feels like a rehash of the first two Zombie movies, House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects, but is never as good as those two. Scenarios and characters are heavily borrowed from them. It made me think that Zombie cannot write original characters and is revisiting his own well too many times. For example, the lovely Sheri Moon Zombie is good in her role. She's a likeable enough lead, but, essentially it feels like what would happen if Baby, from 1000 Corpses and TDR was from an alternate reality where she is a good girl as opposed to bad.
Zombie remains obsessed with curse happy rednecks. Hey, I have a dirty fucking mouth, and anyone who follows this blog or knows me in real fucking life knows this. However, I think the fact that this movie revisits many of his tropes really brings this point, too much into light. His style in this movie is also a bit of determent. I am quite a fan of the almost music video like style coupled with gritty 70s cinema that Zombie has. However, here the fast editing and cuts hurts the gore and intended brutality of the movie.
The male protagonists aren't very interesting, especially Jeff Daniel Phillips. This isn't too say their acting is bad, no, just their characters are kinda just there. Also, I saw the ending coming a mile away, but kept hoping it wouldn't go that route. When it did, I wasn't as much pissed off as I was hoping that something more could have happened. Perhaps, the fact that I knew it was coming lessened the disappointment to some degree, anyways.
But, like I said there are things to be liked. And, here they are:
I said the male protagonists weren't that interesting, but the women are a little different. Like I mentioned before Sheri revisits elements of Baby, but she still is quite good in her role. I liked seeing her kick ass. I also liked looking at her body, which looks slamming in this movie (then, when doesn't it?). Genre favorite Meg Foster has her best role in years. She is a serious badass, here!
The villains are also pretty cool. E.G. Daily is pretty fuckin sexy as Sex-Head. The real scene stealer, though, is Richard Bake as Doom-Head. He is seriously fucking creepy and menacing. The opening monologue is chilling as he looks at the camera, while he talks about killing "you". I would love to see more of this character! Pancho Molar is fucking hilarious as the Nazi, Latino, psycho, clown-midget (yes you read that right!)! Dude, had me laughing my fucking ass off!
That's another thing that I liked, the jet-black humor the movie has. Yes, Zombie has an obsession with foul mouthed people, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that it makes me crack-up. This is a reason why I can't fully damn this this practice.
While, the editing style keeps the gore feeling kind of short handed, the movie has a feeling of violence throughout. It also moves really fast, so it is certainly never boring. There is, at least, a good deal of fun to be had. Adding to this fun is seeing Malcolm McDowell as the head baddie, but I did kind of want more of him. An absolutely fantastic cameo by childhood crush Ginger Lynn Allen is also wonderfully appreciated. It does harken back to her cameo in TDR, but she is naked and just so much fun here, that I won't fucking complain.
31 is not a bad movie, by any means. Unfortunately, it is marred by being an inferior revisiting of Zombie's first two movies. I kind of liked it, but wish I could've enjoyed it more. Still, unlike some recent movies that I have sat through this year (Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad), I didn't dislike it more the more I thought of it. Honestly, I just came out having killed some time and being at least entertained without that many feelings of pissed-offness. As even its' failings are not horribly infuriating. Overall, it's a decent, little movie, that could have been much more has Zombie strayed away from his own tropes. All this being said, I say check it out when it comes if you are a fan of his or of this type of horror flick.
Title: Mansion of the Doomed Director: Michael Pataki Writer: Frank Ray Perilli Cast: Richard Basehart, Gloria Grahame, Trish Stewart, Lance Henriksen, Al Ferrara Year: 1976 Min: 83 DVD Released by: Full Moon
Dr. Leonard Chaney (Richard Basehart) is a brilliant and rich eye-surgeon. One day a dog crosses in front of his car, as he is driving. His pretty daughter, Nancy (Trish Stewart) warns him, and he swerves the car to avoid hitting the pooch but crashes. The broken glass from the front window causes his daughter to go blind. So, while he may care about doggies (Yay!!), he is not necessarily a very good driver (oh well, no one is perfect!). He begins to transplant the eyes of living people into his daughter's eye sockets. She can see, but the effect doesn't last long. So, he keeps on collecting eyes for his daughter, with the help of his loyal housekeeper Katherine (Gloria Grahame). All the while, keeping his victims (including among them modern day horror legend Lance Henrikson as Nancy's fiance), all sans eyeballs, locked in a cell in the basement.
Mansion of the Doomed is actually the first movie that B-movie mogul and legend Charles Band produced. It's also the directorial debut of actor Michael Pataki (best known for acting gigs in movies like Halloween 4 and Rocky IV). He only directed two more times, and well, it's quite honestly better that he stuck to acting. Still, despite being a pretty derivative flick of Eyes without a Face, it still manages to be pretty entertaining, despite it's flaws.
Patakis isn't particularly good at building tension or suspense, and, for the most part the movie is kinda just there. Thankfully, it is pretty short and goes by fairly quickly. It's enough to keep you interested in what is going on, and what to know how it's all gonna end.
It's really aided by a cast that is way better than this movie probably deserves. Richard Basehart is really credible as the sort of sympathetic villain. He gives his all and helps to hold the movie together. Also, quite good is Gloria Grahame as the housekeeper who loves him and is will to do anything to help him and his daughter. They both add some class to the whole proceedings. Henriksen, one of my all time favorite actors, is quite young in what is one of his earliest roles. It's a cool one for us fans of his to see. He definitely has always had good acting chops, even while missing his eyes!
Speaking of eyes, there is lots clinical level grue with all the graphic eye surgery. It was enough to garner the attention of the British authorities during the whole Video Nasty era. While, it never made the official list, it was in the third section, which meant it could be seized. It's on the excellent second volume of the documentary, Video Nasties: The Definitive Guide Vol. 2, that I first heard about this one. The FX handled by a young Stan Winston (making this the second Terminator/ Aliens connection!) are excellent and gruesome.
Full Moon currently has a DVD of it out. It is full screen and has not been remastered, so it looks pretty grainy and crappy. The Mono sound is just OK. It sounds clear and there isn't any hiss or other major issues, that I noticed. It also comes with trailers to other exploitation films that Full Moon sells. Yet, oddly this movie's trailer ain't here. Huh? Still, the DVD can be found pretty cheap, and is worth looking for, at the right price.
Mansion of the Doomed is a little on the pedestrian side, at times. But, it's made watchable thanks to some solid acting and good gore. Coupled with a short running time and a suitably nasty ending, it turns out to be an overall decent little movie. So long as they don't expect a masterpiece or anything original (or a quality DVD), fans of gore, mad doctors, 70s cheapo horror, and/ or Lance Henriksen will be in for a little bit of a treat.
Movie: 2.5 out of 4 Picture: 2 Sound: 2.5 Extras: 1
Severin Films released a blu-ray of it a few years back. While the picture isn't great, it is quite good and better than any print this movie has ever had; also the mono sound is quite good. Extras included an old interview with Carradine, in which he seems to be taken aback by all the horror questions he gets asked in it, as well as a super entertaining commentary with associate producer Gary Kent moderated by Lars Nilsen. It was recently announced that this title, along with some others, are going out of print. So, if this review convinced you that need to own this one (and I am kinda hoping that it did!), be sure to hurry up and buy it!
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