6/29/2010

Thundar the Barbarian: The Most Badass Toon of the 80s

Do any of you recall an 80s Saturday morning cartoon by the name of Thundarr the Barbarian? Obviously, I do. If any of you don't, you should check it out. It airs at 11PM on the Boomerang network. I loved this show as a kid. It was pretty cool and freaky. Without a shadow of a doubt it had THE best intro, possibly in all of cartoon history. I know it freaked me out as a kid!


Now clearly this did not happen in 1994 (thank God!), but that was enough to get me interested. Thundarr was a badass, even if he was a clearly "inspired" by He-Man and Conan and his sun sword a rip-off of the light saber. his companion Ookla the Mok was a rip-off of Chewbaca, but he was fucking cool! And, Princess Ariel was a hottie with magical powers. In this future where magic and "super-science" ruled, Thundarr was the hero that whooped the baddies' asses. The bad guys including: monsters, mutants, aliens, robots, etc. But, he really had an issue with wizards. I am guessing The Wizard of Oz would be better off not meeting him, well for his sake anyways!

Thundarr also loved saying his catch phrases like "Demon dogs!" (uhh, maybe he once had a bad run-in with the Terror Dogs, from Ghostbusters?) and "Lords of light!" (which sounds like a really crappy techno band or shitty power metal group, you choose). While, he never killed anyone in the cartoon (duh!); I would like to think that he would have. I mean he is a fucking Barbarian for crissakes!

I loved the fact that our civilization was in ruins and it's remnants, like world famous buildings and structures, were featured predomintally. It added to the coolness factor.

Anyways, I've been thinking about this, how's about making this into a feature film? Now, if I could make it, I would make as badass as possible. I would cast the following for the lead roles:

HHH as Thundarr- I ain't sure if his age is right, but he has the right look for the character. Besides didn't he wanna play Conan the Barbarian? Well, this is the next best thing!








Nyomi Marcella as Princess Ariel- Now, I realize that no one would ever hire a porn star to play a role based on a kid's toon, but fuck 'em! This is my fucking cast! I am a long time fan of the beautiful Ms. Marcela (her sister is, of course, the beautiful Jade Marcella, who is retired from the biz), and she has THE perfect look for the role! I mean she is damn enchanting without using any magic. And, she'd look AMAZING in THAT outfit!!!!!!!!!




Vin Diesel as Ookla the Mok- His best role is still voicing a robot in The Iron Robot so this could be his second best role! But, make it a suit, like Chewbaca. No CGI Ookla, that would suck Mok cock.



So, there you have my cast. I doubt that Ruby Spears (who made and put out the toon) would approve of it, but who the fuck cares? And, I do realize that this cast would never win any Oscars, but it's not meant to be Citizen Kane. It's a fantasy/ sci-fi story about a barbarian with an energy sword who is friends with a large, fuzzy man-monster (and, no I don't mean the A-Train or Ron Jeremy!) and a hot witch princess. In other words, it is pure fucking gold! At the very least can we please have the complete series released as a DVD set?!

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Now playing: Dark Tranquillity - I Am The Void
via FoxyTunes

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