‘LESBIAN MASSAGE’ MARKS NEWEST ALL-GIRL SERIES FROM MILE HIGH MEDIA

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Sarcofago- Rotting (Album Review)

Musician: Sarcofago
Album Title: Rotting
Genre/ Subgenre: Black/Thrash/Death Metal
Label: Greyhaze Records
Release Date: Sept. 2, 2016

This is a reissue of Brazilian extreme metallers Sarcofago's 1989 classic album Rotting. It features a gorgeous new layout and comes with a bonus live DVD of a performance from their 1991tour with Morbid Angel (who where supporting Altars of Madness, at the time).

If you've heard this influential album, then you know that is incredibly technical proficient and impossibly fast. If you haven't, then unholy shit do you ever need to!  

There are only six songs on this EP and everyone of them are truly fucking killer. With the exception of the 29 second long intro track "The Lust", which consists of samples of a girl's orgasm sounds and monstrous shrieking, and the almost punkish "Sex, Drinks, & Metal", which clocks in at 3:27, the other four songs are long. They range from the lightning fast 6:03 "Alcoholic Coma" and the epic 8:53 "Tracy".

The music showcases technical superiority and complexity. It firmly puts the music in a death metal category and exemplifies just how influential they were in the extreme metal world. Lyrically the band may talk a little bit about boozing, but they mostly lean towards dark and evil subject matter like killing and fucking one's dead, lying girlfriend, anti-Christianity, and hell. In other words, good, wholesome, and tender fun!

Making this even more of a most own is the excellent, quality in sound in this reissue. Sure it sounds dirty and rough, but it's also clear and full. Combine everything I just said and you have an absolute most own for fans of early death and black metal, and those who love to learn about the history of extreme metal.   

5 out of 5

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31 (Review)

Title: 31
Writer/ Director: Rob Zombie
Cast: Malcolm McDowell, Richard Brake, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Elizabeth Daily, Sheri Moon Zombie, Meg Foster
Year: 2016
Min: 102

On Halloween 1976, a group of friends road trip. As they drive down the road at night, their path is blocked by a row of scarecrows. A group of them get out of their van to move them out of the way. But, they are ambushed, and some of them are killed. Those that are left to live are kidnapped and wake up tied and hung. A trio of eccentric old, rich folk (led by Malcolm McDowell) tell them that they have the night to survive a game where a group of psychotic clowns will try to kill them. Each of them has a set of odds as to their survival, which changes as they do better or worse.

Rob Zombie's latest ran into some problems with the MPAA, over it's intense violence. But, what is the actual film like? Well, it certainly has it's fair share of problems, itself. But, it also has it's merits. I should first and foremost say that if you hate Rob Zombie movies, you will not like this one at all. Now that we have that out of the way, all others continue reading, please.

Let me begin with the bad and get that out of the way:
One of my major problems with this movie is how it really feels like a rehash of the first two Zombie movies, House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects, but is never as good as those two. Scenarios and characters are heavily borrowed from them. It made me think that Zombie cannot write original characters and is revisiting his own well too many times. For example, the lovely Sheri Moon Zombie is good in her role. She's a likeable enough lead, but, essentially it feels like what would happen if Baby, from 1000 Corpses and TDR was from an alternate reality where she is a good girl as opposed to bad.

Zombie remains obsessed with curse happy rednecks. Hey, I have a dirty fucking mouth, and anyone who follows this blog or knows me in real fucking life knows this. However, I think the fact that this movie revisits many of his tropes really brings this point, too much into light. His style in this movie is also a bit of determent. I am quite a fan of the almost music video like style coupled with gritty 70s cinema that Zombie has. However, here the fast editing and cuts hurts the gore and intended brutality of the movie.

The male protagonists aren't very interesting, especially Jeff Daniel Phillips. This isn't too say their acting is bad, no, just their characters are kinda just there. Also, I saw the ending coming a mile away, but kept hoping it wouldn't go that route. When it did, I wasn't as much pissed off as I was hoping that something more could have happened. Perhaps, the fact that I knew it was coming lessened the disappointment to some degree, anyways.

But, like I said there are things to be liked. And, here they are:
I said the male protagonists weren't that interesting, but the women are a little different. Like I mentioned before Sheri revisits elements of Baby, but she still is quite good in her role. I liked seeing her kick ass. I also liked looking at her body, which looks slamming in this movie (then, when doesn't it?). Genre favorite Meg Foster has her best role in years. She is a serious badass, here!

The villains are also pretty cool. E.G. Daily is pretty fuckin sexy as Sex-Head. The real scene stealer, though, is Richard Bake as Doom-Head. He is seriously fucking creepy and menacing. The opening monologue is chilling as he looks at the camera, while he talks about killing "you". I would love to see more of this character! Pancho Molar is fucking hilarious as the Nazi, Latino, psycho, clown-midget (yes you read that right!)! Dude, had me laughing my fucking ass off!

That's another thing that I liked, the jet-black humor the movie has. Yes, Zombie has an obsession with foul mouthed people, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that it makes me crack-up. This is a reason why I can't fully damn this this practice.

While, the editing style keeps the gore feeling kind of short handed, the movie has a feeling of violence throughout. It also moves really fast, so it is certainly never boring. There is, at least, a good deal of fun to be had. Adding to this fun is seeing Malcolm McDowell as the head baddie, but I did kind of want more of him. An absolutely fantastic cameo by childhood crush Ginger Lynn Allen is also wonderfully appreciated. It does harken back to her cameo in TDR, but she is naked and just so much fun here, that I won't fucking complain.

31 is not a bad movie, by any means. Unfortunately, it is marred by being an inferior revisiting of Zombie's first two movies. I kind of liked it, but wish I could've enjoyed it more. Still, unlike some recent movies that I have sat through this year (Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad), I didn't dislike it more the more I thought of it. Honestly, I just came out having killed some time and being at least entertained without that many feelings of pissed-offness. As even its' failings are not horribly infuriating. Overall, it's a decent, little movie, that could have been much more has Zombie strayed away from his own tropes. All this being said, I say check it out when it comes if you are a fan of his or of this type of horror flick.

2.5 out of 5

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MANSION OF THE DOOMED (1976) (Full Moon DVD Review)

Title: Mansion of the Doomed
Director: Michael Pataki
Writer: Frank Ray Perilli
Cast: Richard Basehart, Gloria Grahame, Trish Stewart, Lance Henriksen, Al Ferrara
Year: 1976
Min: 83
DVD Released by: Full Moon

Dr. Leonard Chaney (Richard Basehart) is a brilliant and rich eye-surgeon. One day a dog crosses in front of his car, as he is driving. His pretty daughter, Nancy (Trish Stewart) warns him, and he swerves the car to avoid hitting the pooch but crashes. The broken glass from the front window causes his daughter to go blind. So, while he may care about doggies (Yay!!), he is not necessarily a very good driver (oh well, no one is perfect!). He begins to transplant the eyes of living people into his daughter's eye sockets. She can see, but the effect doesn't last long. So, he keeps on collecting eyes for his daughter, with the help of his loyal housekeeper Katherine (Gloria Grahame). All the while, keeping his victims (including among them modern day horror legend Lance Henrikson as Nancy's fiance), all sans eyeballs, locked in a cell in the basement.

Mansion of the Doomed is actually the first movie that B-movie mogul and legend Charles Band produced. It's also the directorial debut of actor Michael Pataki (best known for acting gigs in movies like Halloween 4 and Rocky IV). He only directed two more times, and well, it's quite honestly better that he stuck to acting. Still, despite being a pretty derivative flick of Eyes without a Face, it still manages to be pretty entertaining, despite it's flaws.

Patakis isn't particularly good at building tension or suspense, and, for the most part the movie is kinda just there. Thankfully, it is pretty short and goes by fairly quickly. It's enough to keep you interested in what is going on, and what to know how it's all gonna end.

It's really aided by a cast that is way better than this movie probably deserves. Richard Basehart is really credible as the sort of sympathetic villain. He gives his all and helps to hold the movie together. Also, quite good is Gloria Grahame as the housekeeper who loves him and is will to do anything to help him and his daughter. They both add some class to the whole proceedings. Henriksen, one of my all time favorite actors, is quite young in what is one of his earliest roles. It's a cool one for us fans of his to see. He definitely has always had good acting chops, even while missing his eyes!

Speaking of eyes, there is lots clinical level grue with all the graphic eye surgery. It was enough to garner the attention of the British authorities during the whole Video Nasty era. While, it never made the official list, it was in the third section, which meant it could be seized. It's on the excellent second volume of the documentary, Video Nasties: The Definitive Guide Vol. 2, that I first heard about this one. The FX handled by a young Stan Winston (making this the second Terminator/ Aliens connection!) are excellent and gruesome.

Full Moon currently has a DVD of it out. It is full screen and has not been remastered, so it looks pretty grainy and crappy. The Mono sound is just OK. It sounds clear and there isn't any hiss or other major issues, that I noticed. It also comes with trailers to other exploitation films that Full Moon sells. Yet, oddly this movie's trailer ain't here. Huh? Still, the DVD can be found pretty cheap, and is worth looking for, at the right price.

Mansion of the Doomed is a little on the pedestrian side, at times. But, it's made watchable thanks to some solid acting and good gore. Coupled with a short running time and a suitably nasty ending, it turns out to be an overall decent little movie. So long as they don't expect a masterpiece or anything original (or a quality DVD), fans of gore, mad doctors, 70s cheapo horror, and/ or Lance Henriksen will be in for a little bit of a treat.

Movie: 2.5 out of 4
Picture: 2
Sound: 2.5
Extras: 1

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SUICIDE SQUAD XXX: AN AXEL BRAUN PARODY (DVD Review)

All pics come courtesy of Wicked Pictures.

Title: Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody
Directed by: Axel Braun
Cast: Asa Akira, Kleio Valentien, Riley Steele, Anna Bell Peaks, Katy Kiss, Tommy Pistol, Seth Gamble, Owen Gray, Lexington Steele, and Charles Dera.
Studio: Wicked Pictures/Wicked Comix
Min: 124
Amanda Wallace assembles a group of deadly super-villains to go into Arkham Asylum and retrieve the highly dangerous "Inmate Zero" from his holding cell. One of them double crosses the team, as that one is following different orders from Wallace.

Coinciding with the DC movie, Suicide Squad (duh!), currently in the theaters, this latest comic book parody from Axel Braun is a lot of sexy fun. It plays a lot of homages to the excellent DC animated movie Batman: Assault on Arkham (a movie superior to the film that is actually in the movies, currently), while still taking elements like some of the characters used and their looks from that aforementioned movie.

 

As is the case with Braun's movies, the cast is perfectly chosen for their respective roles. Reprising her character from Batman V Superman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody Kleio Valentien is a complete blast as Harley Quinn! Anna Bell Peaks is fucking AWESOME as Killer Frost! She better get an AVN nomination for this role! Also, very much worthy of an AVN nomination is Tommy Pistol as the Joker. He is straight up better in his role than Jared Leto is in his. Sue me if you dislike that statement, but that is the case, in my humble opinion.

Of course, the costumes look cool and awesome as fuck. You gotta love that Kleio wears the Harley outfit from both the movie and Arkham Asylum. But, we know to expect these things from Braun's awesome productions, as we do the hot sex. So let's not waste anymore time and talk about the fucking!

The first scene has Harley (Kleio) sharing a cell with the beautiful Japanese assassin Katana (Asa Akira). Kleio and Asa are totally fucking hot together and this scene proves that obvious statement! Kleio really embraces the fun of Harley as she calls Katana Pokemon during the sex scene. The scene starts with kissing then goes into pussy licking and fingering. It's all smoking, fucking hot with lots of kissing (a big plus in any lesbian scene in my book). Kleio even licks Asa's asshole, and Asa happily returns the favor. It's my second favorite scene in the movie.

 

Next up, since the last film Supergirl XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, the Enchantress (a returning Riley Steele) has lost her powers. We soon learn that only some good dicking will get her powers back (but, of course!). So Captain Boomerang (Seth Gamble) happily volunteers to do the honor. Smart man! The action starts with a lively cock-sucking by Riley, who is one of the best BJ givers in the biz, I think. From there we move on to doggy style, reverse cow-girl, back to more dick sucking, then more pussy pounding. On a side note, Riley really has a nice ass. I just had to say that! The scene ends with him shooting his load on her tongue. In all, it's a really good bit of screwing.

Poison Ivy and Killer Frost are, in my humble opinion, two of the hottest bad girls in the DC Universe. And, they are bought to smoldering life by Katy Kiss and Anna Bell Peaks, respectively, in the fantastic, sexy, and fun third scene. They give a great double blow-job to the Riddler (Owen Gray). Peaks gets licked and licks Katy's crotch. Then Peaks gets reamed doggy style and still keeps on licking Katy's delicious snatch (I LOVE her bush!!!), followed by the girls switching roles. Katy proceeds to ride Owen. Anna eats Katy's ass!! Extra credit goes to Anna Bell for her awesome dirty talk! When Anna Bell rides the super lucky Owen and Katy is licking and kissing, well that is when this scene turns nuclear hot! They take multiple turns getting fucked by him in what is THE best scene in the movie!

 

Lexington Steele, as Deadshot, is trapped in a room with Asa Akira's Katana. What will they ever do? Fuck, of course, in our fourth scene! Yes! It begins with some dick sucking, which we all know Asa is awesome at. She then gets boned by him while she lies on a table. This leads into some HOT anal action, which is another of Asa's specialties. The scene goes back and forth between anal and vaginal penetration. Some ATM follows and a facial ends the scene. But, then again Deadshot never misses!

The last scene has Harley (Kleio) escaping with Joker (Tommy Pistol), but Batman (Charles Dera) stopping them. Joker and Batman prepare to convince Harley to take their sides, by using their dicks! Of course, that is the best way, isn't? She starts of giving oral to both as she takes turns taking their schlongs in her mouth. Then it's time for some good ol'fashioned rotisserie style fucking! She switches between the two of them so that they both get the same amount of loving. I mean that is only fair, right? Then the Batman gives her some justice by sticking his dick in her butt. Followed by the clown prince of crime, the Joker, also boning her behind. It's then back to cock sucking them. And, it all ends with double facial.

Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody is a lot of sexy, nasty, fun. The fucking is great, in particular the threesome, which is sure to be a favorite of mine to go back and, uhm, "enjoy" in the future. The characters look cool and are bought to life by a lively and sexy cast. Plus, the story, itself, is better than the big budget movie that inspired it. It has a better climax, too (both literally and figuratively!)!

The DVD looks and sounds great.
In the extra department we get a cool behind the scene, highlighted by Seth Gamble trying to learn an Australian accent to play Boomerang. It's pretty awesome to see, quite frankly.
Three bonus scenes from:
Indiscretion: Asa Akira and Damon Dice
Batman V Superman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody: Kleio Valentien and Giovanni Francesco
Supergirl XXX: An Axel Braun Parordy: Riley Steele and Katrina Jade
As well as a photo gallery and trailers.

In all it's worth owning and is gonna remain in your minds longer than the big budget flick does.

 
3.5 out of 4 Woodies 

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Blasphemer- Ritual Theophagy (Album Review)

Musician: Blasphemer
Album Title: Ritual Theophagy
Genre/ Subgenre: Brutal Death Metal
Label: Comatose Music
Release Date: Oct. 14, 2016

Six years after their EP, Devouring Deception, the brutal, Italian death metal mavens known as Blasphemer are back. Ritual Theophagy is their second full length album, and it is absolutely brutal and unrelenting.

This trio deliver music that is evil, extreme, and down right savage. Righteously unholy, and well, blasphemous, the music fires on all cylinders. The drumming by Darren Cesca is a pure blast beat assault. It as accompanied by vicious guitar shredding and the brutal, growling, multi-vocals.

"Worship in the Void" is a thundering attack of speed and anger. "Annihilated Divinity" feels like a freight train pummeling towards you at breakneck speeds. Chanting leads into a dark and brutal aural attack that feels like you are being bombed from above in the vicious "Obscuring the Holy Light", which only slows down (if you can even call it that) for some savage crunching. It might be my favorite track on the album. To prove that they are not just about speed, the track "Fetishistic Idolatry of the Cross" begins with more mid-tempo crunching only build up, slow down and build up again, while always remaining heavy and evil as fuck.

With an appropriate band name and evil, truly brutal, music this anti-Christian monster has delivered one of the heaviest releases I have heard in the last couple of weeks, if not months. Blasphemer's Ritual Theophagy is sure to please fans of bands like Deicide, when it gets released on Oct. 14, 2016.


 
3 out of 5

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