As another year has ended it is time for my list of the year's best. Once again, this list is not at all like the other best of movie list out there. And, I wouldn't have it any other way! By the way, I didn't see Inception, The Fighter, or True Grit, so just warning you. I'll see them eventually, but really I am in real rush to do so. Anyways, here's they are:
10. The Runaways- Here's a film I was curious about since I first heard about it. I'm a fan of the band and of the beautiful Kristen Stewart. I had a feeling she could do some great acting if given a good script. This is the proof of it! She really IS Joan Jett! I actually questioned the casting of Dakota Fanning, as I was never a fan, really, and I thought she might be too young to be sexy. But, she more than delivered. Great acting from the whole cast, this is a solid bio-pic.
9. Bad Biology- While this movie was made two years ago it was not given a proper release till last year. About time, too. It's Frank (Basket Case Trilogy) Henenlotter's best work in years. Funny, gory, sexy, and jaw-dropping, this over-the-top horror/ comedy shows that he is definitely one of horror's most audicious and fun filmmaker's. No one makes a movie like him! And, there is NO movie, in any year, that is like this one. Mutant penis and vagina. Yep, you read that right. The lead actress is quite yummy, too. If you ain't seen this one, then you need to, but not if your easily offended. But, if you are, then why are reading my blog?!
8. The Expendables- An action fans' wet dream come true, this has just about anyone you could want from action cinema in it. Stallone's directing keeps things moving fast, and the movie is a ton of fun. The copious amounts of graphic violence gives it a further kick in the ass. One of the year's most satisfying, as far as hype goes anyways, movies.
7. Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy- While both Halloween and Friday the 13th have had docus made on them, this one on the Nightmare movies is the best one. In fact it is one of the finest and most comprehensive docus in the history of horror cinema. Everything you could ever want to know and more (and even more, with the DVD's extra features!) is included. Great interviews and always entertaining. It might clock in at three hours, but if you are a true fan, you'll never feel it. Extra points for not covering the remake (surely one of last year's worst films!)!
6. Edge of Darkness- Before I go any further, let's get one thing clear: Mel Gibson is a fucking asshole. I can't fucking stand him (and I used to be a huge fan). But, let's base this movie on it's own credit, not on the dickhead in the lead role. A well directed, intense, and smart revenge film, EoD keeps you on the edge (pun not intended) of your seat. It also manages to tug at the heart, and the brutal violence reminds you of the sub-genre you are viewing. And, as much as I hate to admit it, Mel pulls off a great performance. It's a shame his idiotic behavior made this one get lost by some fans.
5. Toy Story 3- Pixar does it again! They pull off another great animated movie that makes my list for the third year in a row! As Darth Vader would say, "Impressive! Most impressive". This movie manages to be exciting, funny, and, even, touching. The best entry in the series, and the single best animated movie of last year!
4. Piranha 3D- This is THE best remake of 2010, in fact it ranks as one of the best remakes in the history of mankind. It also happens to be the best 3D movie of last year (the worst 3D movie is also the worst movie, of last year- Resident Evil: Afterlife). Anyways, this is one of 2010's most fun movie going experiences. It's wonderfully exploitative and totally funny. And, the gore? Wow!! This one pushes the R-rating to its limits. Bissecetion, castration, floating implants, etc, this one turns the blue waters bloody red. The cast is cool, too, with Jerry O'Connel as a sleazy pornographer getting my fav asshole role of the year. Then, there are the babes that include porn star Riley Steele and the still beautiful Elizabeth Shue. And, even Gianna Michaels has a cameo. There is tons of nudity and lesbian action. Fuck man, this movie has just about everything!!!
3. Machete- Speaking about movie that has it all, Machete, is another that does. Hot girls, ultra-violence, and the coolest cast outside of The Expendables. Trejo is just fucking awesome as the movie's hero. This was yet another fun and totally enjoyable time I had in the movies. It is what it sets itself out to be, a big budget exploitation film. Oh, Tom Savini's role is one of the funniest and most awesome roles of the year. Shit, even Steven Seagal is cool in this one!!
2. Black Swan- Some say it's a horror film, some say it ain't. I say it is. It's a psychological horror flick and a searing one at that. It's a truly nightmarish experience that gets deep into your psyche. It also happens to be beautifully shot and directed. The performances are amazing, especially by the the stunning Natalie Portman. Her much ballyhooed lesbian action with Mila Kunis manages to be both erotic and disturbing. And, that is no mean feat! In the end, what we have here is 2010's best horror film, bar none. And, the most frightening horror movie of last year, as well.
1. Kick Ass- The best movie of last year may not have been a huge box-office smash (although, it should have been!!!), but it is such a fun and, well thoroughly KICK ASS film. That makes it the most appropriately named film of last year! The cast is likable and quite good. This Nicolas Cage's best role in years (this coming from someone who couldn't stand Cage in the last few years). But, it's Hit Girl that fucking owns this one. Her controversial role, as a 12 year old vigilante that kills bad guys and curses like a fucking sailor, is 2010's most awesome character. The ultra-violence makes this one an even harder ass kicker. Without a shadow of a doubt one of the finest super-hero movies ever made.
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Now playing: Cradle of Filth - The Nun with the Astral Habit
via FoxyTunes
10. The Runaways- Here's a film I was curious about since I first heard about it. I'm a fan of the band and of the beautiful Kristen Stewart. I had a feeling she could do some great acting if given a good script. This is the proof of it! She really IS Joan Jett! I actually questioned the casting of Dakota Fanning, as I was never a fan, really, and I thought she might be too young to be sexy. But, she more than delivered. Great acting from the whole cast, this is a solid bio-pic.
9. Bad Biology- While this movie was made two years ago it was not given a proper release till last year. About time, too. It's Frank (Basket Case Trilogy) Henenlotter's best work in years. Funny, gory, sexy, and jaw-dropping, this over-the-top horror/ comedy shows that he is definitely one of horror's most audicious and fun filmmaker's. No one makes a movie like him! And, there is NO movie, in any year, that is like this one. Mutant penis and vagina. Yep, you read that right. The lead actress is quite yummy, too. If you ain't seen this one, then you need to, but not if your easily offended. But, if you are, then why are reading my blog?!
8. The Expendables- An action fans' wet dream come true, this has just about anyone you could want from action cinema in it. Stallone's directing keeps things moving fast, and the movie is a ton of fun. The copious amounts of graphic violence gives it a further kick in the ass. One of the year's most satisfying, as far as hype goes anyways, movies.
7. Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy- While both Halloween and Friday the 13th have had docus made on them, this one on the Nightmare movies is the best one. In fact it is one of the finest and most comprehensive docus in the history of horror cinema. Everything you could ever want to know and more (and even more, with the DVD's extra features!) is included. Great interviews and always entertaining. It might clock in at three hours, but if you are a true fan, you'll never feel it. Extra points for not covering the remake (surely one of last year's worst films!)!
6. Edge of Darkness- Before I go any further, let's get one thing clear: Mel Gibson is a fucking asshole. I can't fucking stand him (and I used to be a huge fan). But, let's base this movie on it's own credit, not on the dickhead in the lead role. A well directed, intense, and smart revenge film, EoD keeps you on the edge (pun not intended) of your seat. It also manages to tug at the heart, and the brutal violence reminds you of the sub-genre you are viewing. And, as much as I hate to admit it, Mel pulls off a great performance. It's a shame his idiotic behavior made this one get lost by some fans.
5. Toy Story 3- Pixar does it again! They pull off another great animated movie that makes my list for the third year in a row! As Darth Vader would say, "Impressive! Most impressive". This movie manages to be exciting, funny, and, even, touching. The best entry in the series, and the single best animated movie of last year!
4. Piranha 3D- This is THE best remake of 2010, in fact it ranks as one of the best remakes in the history of mankind. It also happens to be the best 3D movie of last year (the worst 3D movie is also the worst movie, of last year- Resident Evil: Afterlife). Anyways, this is one of 2010's most fun movie going experiences. It's wonderfully exploitative and totally funny. And, the gore? Wow!! This one pushes the R-rating to its limits. Bissecetion, castration, floating implants, etc, this one turns the blue waters bloody red. The cast is cool, too, with Jerry O'Connel as a sleazy pornographer getting my fav asshole role of the year. Then, there are the babes that include porn star Riley Steele and the still beautiful Elizabeth Shue. And, even Gianna Michaels has a cameo. There is tons of nudity and lesbian action. Fuck man, this movie has just about everything!!!
3. Machete- Speaking about movie that has it all, Machete, is another that does. Hot girls, ultra-violence, and the coolest cast outside of The Expendables. Trejo is just fucking awesome as the movie's hero. This was yet another fun and totally enjoyable time I had in the movies. It is what it sets itself out to be, a big budget exploitation film. Oh, Tom Savini's role is one of the funniest and most awesome roles of the year. Shit, even Steven Seagal is cool in this one!!
2. Black Swan- Some say it's a horror film, some say it ain't. I say it is. It's a psychological horror flick and a searing one at that. It's a truly nightmarish experience that gets deep into your psyche. It also happens to be beautifully shot and directed. The performances are amazing, especially by the the stunning Natalie Portman. Her much ballyhooed lesbian action with Mila Kunis manages to be both erotic and disturbing. And, that is no mean feat! In the end, what we have here is 2010's best horror film, bar none. And, the most frightening horror movie of last year, as well.
1. Kick Ass- The best movie of last year may not have been a huge box-office smash (although, it should have been!!!), but it is such a fun and, well thoroughly KICK ASS film. That makes it the most appropriately named film of last year! The cast is likable and quite good. This Nicolas Cage's best role in years (this coming from someone who couldn't stand Cage in the last few years). But, it's Hit Girl that fucking owns this one. Her controversial role, as a 12 year old vigilante that kills bad guys and curses like a fucking sailor, is 2010's most awesome character. The ultra-violence makes this one an even harder ass kicker. Without a shadow of a doubt one of the finest super-hero movies ever made.----------------
Now playing: Cradle of Filth - The Nun with the Astral Habit
via FoxyTunes
