Crushing on My "DEADLY FRIEND"

August 30, 2018 marked the third anniversary of the passing of one of horror's true masters: Wes Craven. Craven made many an influential and important horror movie, The Last House on the Left, The Hill Have Eyes, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Scream, too name but a few. Admit ably he is also guilty of some truly awful films, like The Hills Have Eyes 2, Scream 3, My Soul to Take, etc. One movie that tends to get lumped into the latter category, but I honestly think it shouldn't (but understand why it does) is Deadly Friend. It's an odd, oft-silly and dumb movie, that has moments of greatness beneath the crap.

Our story begins, when a thief tries to break into an SUV and gets chocked by a robot arm. When, said robot hears the family come to their vehicle, he lets the scumbag go. We are soon introduced, to single mom Jeannie (Anne Twomey) and her genius son, Paul (Matthew Laborteaux), who created said robot. The robot's name is BB and is cute, fat little guy, sort of a cross between R2-D2 and Robbie the Robot. They are moving to a new house and neighborhood, where it doesn't take long for Paul to make a new bestie in newspaper delivery boy, Tom (Michael Sharret). Tom is a nice guy, and as such he is picked on a bunch of asshole bullies. But, their leader, Carl (Andrew Roperto) learns his lesson, when BB proceeds to crush his nuts! Ouch! I really needed a BB in high school!

BB, and I, both wonder why we have yet to be able to have robot besties!

Of course, he also meets his beautiful, girl next door neighbor, Samantha (the gorgeous Kristy Swanson). Sam is a sweet girl, on top of her stunning looks, so our hero immediately crushes on her. While, they start a friendship immediately, all is not well, as her dad, Harry (Richard Marcus), is an abusive drunk. And, he does not like his little girl hanging around with guys.

We also meet, Paul's professor Dr. Johanson (Russ Marin), who allows Paul to have access to a nice lab. The final character we are introduced to is mean, old bitch Elvira Parker (Anne Ramsey, she of Throw Momma from the Train and others fame, she's was always great as a man old twat role, wasn't she?), who doesn't like kids or robots that are friends with kids (or probably robots, or anyone, in general). As our three likable trio and robo-buddy begin to become better friends, they hang out more often. Well, one Halloween, they decide end up going through the mean bitch's gate and, BB gets full of lead courtesy of her rifle.

Goddamn it! My Halloweens, as a teen, were never this much fun!

And, proving that holiday just plain suck for these kids, Thanksgiving ends up being worse. When, drunken daddy asshole realizes that Sam is spending it with the boy next door and his mom, he has a hissy fit. Sadly, it's a rather violent one and he accidentally injures her severly as she comes down the stairs. She ends up in coma, and soon has the plug pulled on her. But, fear not, lovers of romance, cause Paul has a way of bringing her back to life! Coaxing his reluctant buddy Tom, they steal her corpse and take her to the aforementioned lab.

What is his plan you ask? Well, glad you did, cause it involves putting BB's robot brain on her brain! Soon, she is reanimated, but, of course, goes off killing those who hurt her and BB in the past. Paul quickly discovers, but like any guy with a crush on a zombie, decides to cover for her. Even, when bestie Tom doesn't think that any of this is cool, or you know, normal.

Sam wonders if there could ever be a Rear Window remake with protagonist being a cute, zombie girl.

Coming off of the success of the fantastic A Nightmare on Elm Street, Craven was a hot comidty for horror,  even if post-AONES, the godawful The Hills Have Eyes 2 had been released. He got hired by Warner Bros to direct Deadly Friend, which was scripted by  Bruce Joel Rubin based on the novel Friend by Diana Henstell.

Craven saw this as a chance to something similar to what John Carpenter had done with the sci-fi/ romance Starman and show to the world that he was more than just splatter-horror guy. He wasn't interested in making Sam the villain, but rather show that the true monsters were those around her. And, some of this this is still present here, as the people she kills are genuinely unlikeable and even evil turds (especially her dad who becomes a crispy critter). In fact, he wanted to make a PG rated movie. 

But, that's not what Warner wanted. They wanted the Freddy guy, so the studio asked to add more gore to the script. To be fair, one splatter scene is super memorable, that being the now infamous exploding head by way of basketball. It's such an iconic scene that even horror fans who hate this flick, tend to love this one scene. There is also some immolation, implaing, and sparying blood thrown for good measure. 

Sam, undisputed dodge-ball champ of the world! 

Proving that Warner really only wanted the "Freddy guy", they also asked for nightmare scenes to be added. These result in a bunch of cheap, fake scares, as nightmare scenes tend to be. Worst of all, they added a ridiculous and stupid as fuck ending:

*************************SPOILERS***********************************************

As our hero goes to visit his now dead, again, girlfriend, who got rekilled via gunshots by cops, at the morgue. I'm guessing that he's gonna attempt a second reanimation on her. But, and, Jesus Christ is this ever stupid, she wakes up, her skin rips off, revealing a more humanoids, Terminatoresque version of BB. She precedes to choke him, and as the camera pulls away, from behind the morgue door, we hear his screams and her saying, "BB!"

***********************END OF SPOILERS*****************************************

Holy fuck, is that ever awful! It's is a mind numbingly stupid moment, that for all the ridiculous shit that occurred before, still makes no fucking sense. It makes me think that whoever at Warner came with this shit idea was all coked out. Well, it was the 80's after all!

Their wondrous ideas didn't work, though, and Deadly Friend tanked at the box office and was ravaged by critics, both mainstream and horror. That said, it is understandable why the film got lambasted. However, I think it works best for teens and younger folk, perhaps proving the point that they should have left Craven just do his thing without interference. I loved it when I first saw it, as a kid/ pre-teen, but as I got older I realized more and more, just how stupid some of this is.

Sam doing the "Thriller" dance! Well, I mean she is a zombie, after all!

The film is, after all, filled with silly moments throughout, like our heroine moving her hands and fingers like a robot and saying "BB!" a lot. It is hard to keep a straight face during these occurrences, but Craven out weighs this thanks to his solid directing. The pacing is good, and the movie is never boring. The characters are likable, and you care for them in their situation. And, besides, who among us hasn't had to cover up for our hot, zombie girlfriend with a robot brain?

All of the acting is solid, we hate the mean characters, especially Sam's dad, and we like the kids. However, all things considered, the true star is Swanson. Her natural beauty combine perfectly with the character's sweetness to make for a very believable and likable girl, I wish to God had lived next door to me. We get Paul's crush immediately; we feel and fear for her. Craven knew this as his camera loves her and captures her perfectly. Even when the movie feels utterly ridiculous, she and admit ably, the rest of the cast do their damn best to carry it all.

She, along with Craven's directing, are definitely the main reasons I enjoyed the movie, as a kid. I had a super crush on Swanson, and Craven was, as I was getting more and more into the genre, quickly becoming a hero of mine. At first I didn't know many who loved the movie, but years later I discovered that it has quite a following. Sadly, it is only available as a single DVD or part of a four film set with three other horror movies of varying degrees of quality. There is no Blu-ray of it. In 2014, a fan petition was made to release Craven's director's cut. Warner, though, have long said that that ain't happening. 

Deadly Friend is a wild, ridiculous, silly, yet fun, well acted sci-fi/ horror/ teen movie. It is an interesting piece in Wes Craven's filmography. Sure, the movie often gets a bad a rap but really shouldn't, or at least not THAT bad a rap. It's far from great but in no way deserves to be lumped in with festering crap like Cursed. A movie that proves that a film can indeed be dumb and be good, at the same time, it deserves another look. Maybe, one day we will get the director's cut (I wouldn't hold my breath though), but even if we don't I will always crush on my Deadly Friend and, of course, on Kristy Swanson, herself, the loveliest teen zombie with a robot brain babe, ever!

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Horror Crush: Cami (Camille) Cooper

It's October! And, if you are a long reader of mine, you know that I try post a lot more horror write-ups during this month. Now, I realize I been posting more and more horror posts, but I, in turn, have realized that you guys are reading more of them. So, I am replying by posting more of what you guys wanna see. Anyway, let's jump right into this month's first post:

Today I add one of my biggest childhood crushes to this site's ever growing Horror Crushes, the beautiful Cami (Camille) Cooper!

Camille Cooper was born in Los Angeles but grew up in New York. She began acting in soaps General Hospital and Knots Landing. The first time I saw her was probably in the comedy Like Father, Like Son. And, while I liked her in that, it wasn't till later that she really caught my eye. She appeared in an episode of Werewolf (All Hallow's Eve), which I used to enjoy and watch as a kid. But, I don't remember much of it, much less she being in it. 

Her most memorable role is the one where I totally fell in love with her in: Wes Craven's Shocker. Shocker was Craven's attempt at giving us a new Freddy Krueger in Mitch (The X-Files) Pileggi's Horace Pinker. The movie has it's issues. Peter Berg makes for a terrible hero. It's also, at times, terribly silly or corny. But, it holds a special place in my heart. I saw this at the right age, being only about 12 or 13. I was deepening my love for horror, and Craven was one of the director's I was becoming obsessed with. This movie sealed that for me.

The awesome metal soundtrack (which I used to listen to all the time on tape), the cool FX, and Pinker were enough to make me love it. And, there was one more thing for me to love: Camille (here under the name Cami) Cooper. She was the perfect all American girl next door. Naturally beautiful, blonde, blue eyes, and with a sweet smile to die for. As our hero Jonathon's (Berg) girlfriend who gets knifed by Pinker, she was the perfect embodiment of that. She comes back as a ghost (at first blood-caked ala Carrie), to haunt and help her nice, but lame boyfriend battle Pinker. Honestly, she is more interesting and memorable than Berg, even of some this comes off corny. It helps that Cooper is quite good in the role. Though, I will say that even when I saw it, as a kid, I thought if one can have sex with a ghost, that is one I would totally try it with! Also, and this proves that I was always a weird kid, thought she looked good even covered in blood.

 

 

The next thing I distinctly remember seeing her was the movie she did right after: the oddball but hilarious and gooey horror/ comedy Meet the Applegates. She is the daughter in an all American family of giant mantises disguised as humans. I was so fucking happy to see her in this! She looked great, of course, and similarly I thought, eh, if giant bugs looked like her dating one wouldn't be all bad (yeah, I told you I was a weird kid!)! Sadly this movie has never been on DVD much less Blu-ray. And, it is a shame cause I recall it being really funny, over-the-top, and slimey!

Her last acting gig was in Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace. Now, I don't remember anything about this movie, much less her being in it. Which considering how much I loved her probably says a lot about this flick...

She serves as director of legislative affairs for The National Association to PROTECT Children. She spearheaded what was the largest crime bill for the 110th Congress. But, she made a return to horror fandom when she appeared on Scream Factory's release of Shocker. The Blu-ray is fucking awesome, and she still looks gorgeous!

I still love Shocker, all these years later, as watching it on Blu-ray last night proved to me. And, I still love Cooper. I gotta say that I wanted a girlfriend like her when I was a little kid. And, you know what? I still do! And, with that I proudly add her to this site's Horror Crushes!

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Horror Crush: Kristy Swanson

 

Today's horror crush was one of my biggest as a kid/ teen, it's the stunning blonde beauty that is Kristy Swanson!

Swanson was born on Dec. 19, 1969 (making her 45) in Mission Viejo, Cali. She began acting on various TV shows, including Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Now I probably did see, I just don't remember, her in that episode, as I used to watch that show as a kid, but it's her debut movie where I first fell in love with her: Deadly Friend!

I discussed Deadly Friend a bit in my recent tribute to it's director, the late and great Wes Craven. I actually revisited it very recently, as I just got it on DVD (part of Warner Bro's Twisted Terror Collection). I been thinking about talking about this one a little more. Would you guys like to see me do that? If you guys request me to do so, I definitely will. If I don't hear from you guys, well who the fuck knows, if I will do it. Regardless, I immediately fell in love with the beautiful Ms. Kristy Swanson with this film. She is PERFECT as the girl next door (or, as I like to say, the girl I fucking WISHED had lived next door to me!).

Say what you will about the movie, itself, she is good in it. She's very likable. And, you care for her and her whole ordeal with falling for this nice genius boy who just moved next door and her abusive dad. Daddy ultimately causes her to lose her life, but she comes back when her boyfriend brings her back to life with a robot chip. So, now she is a hot girl next door zombie with a robot brain (let that sink in for a bit...). The image of her doing the "robot" through the rest of the remain film is pretty fucking funny (unintentional, I presume), but she does what she can with what she has. Besides, she kills the mean old lady neighbor in one of the coolest, wildest, most awesome, imaginative, and deliciously splattery deaths ever!   

Her next genre film is an adaptation of V.C. Andrews bestseller Flowers in the Attic. I saw this one as a kid as well, not to much after seeing Deadly Friend. Now, back in those days everyone was seemingly reading this book and those in the series. I never had but "hey it's got Kristy and it's horror so I am in!" is what I thought. Again, I liked it but... As I soon discovered, the movie was sadly missing the more salacious aspects of the book. It wanted to be a safe PG13 flick (an early example of the balls being taking out of horror to sell it to kids...). Wes Craven was originally attached but was dumped in order to keep"safe". A shame, he definitely would've made a movie that doesn't feel like a fucking made for TV flick. I have no clue, what I would think of this movie today, as I ain't seen it in ages. However, I always remember Swanson looking gorgeous and being excellent in her role, as the sister of a group of siblings locked up their mega-bitch and twisted mom.

Swanson would make one final return to the genre in the shitty horror/ comedy Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I saw this one in the movies, cause of her. That being said, I had a feeling it would be a turd. And, is it ever! Never really funny and certainly not scary, it's a prime example of how horror/ comedies are often, hard to do well. Paul Rubens is terribly annoying and Luke Perry is, well, Luke Perry. Which is too say he is an old dude playing a teen and sucking hard at it. This godawful excrement of a flick was a chore to watch, but again, Swanson is good in it. She has some solid delivery in her lines and looks AMAZING here. Seeing her in a cheerleader outfit is, quite, yummy. But, in the end the best thing I can say about this flick (other than Swanson, of course) is it inspired it's amazing spin-off show, which is one of the greatest TV shows of all time, horror or otherwise.

Kristy Swanson didn't star in the greatest horror films, but they are all memorable in some way or another, for better or worse. And, there is no denying that she set the hearts of many a young horror fans a flutter. as such, she will always be one of the most memorable horror teen crushes of all time. One more thing of note, she never got nude in any of her horror roles, but she would bear it all for Playboy in 2002. And, we were all very thankful for her doing it!

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A Tribute to Wes Craven: Master of Horror Pt. 2: From a Shocker to a 4th Scream

For part 1, please go here: http://themastergio.blogspot.com/2015/08/a-tribute-to-wes-craven-master-of.html

Shocker (1989)- This was the first Wes Craven movie that I ever saw in the movies. And man back then, I was totally in love with it. I thought it was the coolest thing ever! The villain, Horace Pinker (as played by future X-Files actor Mitch Pileggi) was awesome! I had a crush on blonde hottie Cami Cooper, and the FX, to me, where just the coolest. Then, there was the soundtrack, which remains, to this day, a favorite of mine. With music from Megadeth (this is how I got into them), Alice Cooper, Dangerous Toys, Iggy Pop, etc, I was in metal heaven. It was around this time, that Craven became cemented as one of my heroes.
When, I watched again as an adult, I gotta say, it came off rather silly. And, I soon noticed that lead actor Peter Berg was not that great in the role, but he would go on to be a solid director in his own right (witness my favorite of his, Very Bad Things, for proof). But, despite its failings, Shocker remains way more fun than it has a right to be. It is, by far, the best of Craven's "bad" films. And, I CANNOT wait for the Scream Factory blu-ray to come out!

The People Under the Stairs (1990)- This is an odd one. Like Shocker, I LOVED this when I saw it in the movies. And, like that film, it's faults were clearer to me when I watched it again, this time with adult eyes. That said, the first half of the film feels like a throwback to the more hardcore and brutal Craven of old. Had it sustained this feel, it might be a minor classic. Sadly, it is marred by a way to happy ending and very pointless and annoying comedy. Still the villains played by Twin Peaks alumni Everett McGill and Wendy Robie are great, as is future My So Called Life star AJ Langer. I was about her age when this movie came out (like two years younger than her, actually) and developed a little bit of a kid crush on her. In fact, I did wished girls in my school looked like her. She blossomed into a beautiful woman, not surprisingly. Recent;y, Scream Factory did a special edition blu-ray of it, which I need to get.


New Nightmare (1994)- After the absolutely godawful Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (the WORST Freddy flick ever, IMHO), Craven returned to the franchise for this brilliant installment. Stepping out of continuity and into the "real world" with Robert Englund, the gorgeous Heather Langenkamp, and Craven himself, as themselves, he crafted a great meta-horror film, before he did Scream. Like some of his earlier work, he drew inspiration from real life. But, it was more prevalent here, perhaps thanks to whole meta-thing. Personally, speaking I loved the whole real world aspect of it. While, some it's flaws come further in repeated viewings, this remains a strong entry in Craven's work.

Scream (1996)- After the abysmal Vampire in Brooklyn with Eddie Murphy, natch, Craven bounced back with one of his biggest hits and most influential movies ever: Scream!! This one was made by word of mouth and slowly grew to a HUGE hit. I remember being blown away by it. I adored this film when I first saw it. Over the years, it has been tainted by rip-offs and sequels, so I had to pull away from it. In a recent revisit after years of not watching it, I loved it again. It's really a brilliant movie, with one of the greatest beginnings ever. It's influence and importance to the genre CANNOT be measured. While, I am not crazy about some of the slashers that followed, it helped to "rescue" the then floundering genre.
On a side note, I owned an unrated version of this film on lasersdisc. Sadly, we will never see that cut, again. Sucks, cause it was even better uncut. And, one more side note, dear God was Rose McGowan HOT as hell back then!!

Scream 2 (1997)- Hit it, while it's hot, I guess. So horror's new antagonist, Ghostface, along with the last movie's survivors/ heroes return only one year later. Not as good as the first film, by any means, but still a good little flick. But, really this style of slasher film was quickly wearing thin...



Red Eye (2005)- Dear God, Craven made some terrible shit around this time. Scream 3 and, even more so, Cursed were painfully awful, dreadful films. Which is why this one stood out, I think. Not really a horror movie, but more of a thriller; It's a pretty entertaining, even good little movie, whatever genre you refer to it as. Both leads are great. Cillian Murphy is an awesome villain, and Rachel McAdams makes for a very likable heroine. And, she looks great, then she always does. Unfortunately this movie is severely hurt by a ridiculous climax that no amount of suspension of disbelief will help. I remember watching that thinking to myself, "Really?!" *sigh*

Scream 4 (2011)- A true return to form after the unwatchable My Soul to Take (I mean I could not watch it! I switched channels on that shit!), this was his last film, sadly. But, at least it ends the series, and his career, on a high note. A smart, fun, and bloody (by far the bloodiest in the franchise, in fact), this movie is better, no make that  A LOT better, than it has any right to be. I really got a kick out of seeing this movies. It also solidified my thoughts that Courteney Cox is one of the yummiest MILFs around. It introduced the horror world to future American Horror Story actress the pretty Emma Roberts. Though her performance here is questionable, to say the least...

I hope you enjoyed this little look and tribute to Wes Craven's directing career. He is already so dearly missed. Thank you for everything, Wes Craven, and may you RIP.

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A Tribute to Wes Craven: Master of Horror Pt. 1: From the Last House to the Serpent

Last night, I was looking at my Twitter feed, when I saw a tweet mentioning that Wes Craven, one of horror's true master directors, had passed away. I didn't wanna believe it. At first, I found no articles, just an increasing amount of tweets, then it was confirmed. Craven had died of brain cancer on Aug. 30, 2015, at 76 years of age (he had been born Aug. 2, 1939). I was devastated and deeply heartbroken.

Craven was one of my heroes growing up. He, along with other horror masters, influenced my love of film and made me want to make films of my own. His movies shaped me and became a huge part of my life. I struggled with what would be a suitable way for me pay tribute to him. After all, this one hurt, a lot. I was crying reading about his passing and seeing the outpouring of love from friends and fans. I thought what could I write here? Then it hit me, I will talk about certain and somewhat select batch of his movies and how or why they influenced/ affected me and/ or my thoughts on them. But, basically, if I don't mention the movie, I either never saw it, or I think it flat out sucked.

He has made definitive classics, and gave birth to two genuine franchises and villains: A Nightmare on Elm Street and Freddy Krueger and Scream and Ghostface. Not everything he made was great, in fact he made some genuine crap. But, like I already stated, I won't focus on the shit,  and why should I? So without any further wasted adieu, here are few words on some of his movies, in the order they were released:

The Last House on the Left (1972)- Along with future Friday the 13th director Sean Cunningham (here as producer) they gave us one of the very best rape-revenge films ever made, in this one. A brutal and shocking film, it is near perfect, sans the uneven acting from the parents, but most of all the unneeded humor provided by the dumb cops.
Regardless, I recall watching this classick with my grandpa, when as a young teen, I rented it on VHS. We both loved it, but I was definitely numb by the level of viciousness and uncompromising violence contained in the movie. Both Craven and Cunningham were, themselves, shocked by this movie. Combine it with his next film, and they stand for a side of Craven he would never fully indulge again. I admit, I always kind of wished he would have. The remake, by the way, is just meh.

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)- Streamlined and with none of the faults that Last House had this brutal and badass movie, stands as one of the seminal horror movies of the 70s. I recall watching this movie with one of my then best friends, and being floored by it. The vicious violence and exhilarating climax ranks as some of the most in your face quality and rousing horror film making around. Plus, like his previous film, and later films, he gave us great villains (Pluto!). Only now the heroes were equally compelling. Plus, the dog kicks fucking ass!
Craven would later make an awful sequel to this classic. And, this movie, itself, was later remade into a good film, which inspired it's own shit eating sequel.


Swamp Thing (1982)- I remember when this came out, I wanted to see it sooo badly! I mean I loved horror, monsters, and superheroes, by this point in my life and this had all of that! It got me to read the comic, which became my all time favorite horror superhero. The movie itself is just OK, but it's memorable due to the acting and Adrienne Barbeau, and her breasts (even in the PG cut they look great!). And, of course, Craven's considerable talents.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)- This is his crowning masterpiece. If he only made this, then that would've been enough for him to live in horror history forever. Whatever, one thinks of the sequels, like Friday the 13th and Halloween, it stands head and bloody shoulders above them (though the finest entries in the Nightmare series are great films in their own rights). Far darker and scarier than the following installments, what this movie did with it's budget memorized me as a child. The gore, the babes, the classic lines and  classic imagery, and of course, Freddy, all captivated me and still do to this day. This movie is not only my favorite of his, but my third favorite film of all time. I believe it to be the single greatest slasher film ever made. OK, OK, I'll stop professing my love for this one and move on.

Deadly Friend (1986)- Wait, I thought he said we were not gonna talk about his sucky movies! That's what you're thinking right? Well, yeah, but as bad as this one is, and it's pretty fucking bad, I did like it, at least a kid. Maybe, I liked it cause it so bad and so stupid. I mean dude falls in love with beautiful girl next door (Kristy Swanson), then puts a robot brain in her after she is killed. She then comes back to life, but is no longer a good girl. She acts like a robot and the ending is horribly, and I do mean HORRIBLY ridiculous and awful. But, I do think that that is what makes it so much fun. Or maybe it's the gore that I like, in particular the mean old lady whose head gets crushed by a basketball and explodes. Even, if you understandably hate the movie, you gotta agree that scene fucking rules. Or maybe, in the end, I liked this one just cause I had a HUGE crush on Swanson. Actually, yeah, that's the main reason I enjoyed this one. Judge me then, if you must!

The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)- Unlike Romero's zombie films, this one tries to stay within the confines of real life, more or less. And, for that reason it sets itself apart. The trailer to this was pretty captivating and scary for me as a kid. The whole voodoo aspect and it's basis really make this one a fascinating watch. Bill Pullman is great in the lead role, and even my family, whom I saw it with, liked this one. Actually, this might be the best movie to deal with voodoo (yes, I like it even more than Angel Heart). It loses itself a bit in the ridiculous climax, which goes too Freddy and over-the-top, but this remains a nice addition to Craven's filmogrpahy.

To be continued...

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