FLIGHT 7500 (Review)

Title: Flight 7500
Director: Takashi Shimizu
Writer: Craig Rosenberg   
Cast: Leslie Bibb, Ryan Kwanten, Amy Smart, Jamie Chung, Scout Taylor-Compton, Nicky Whelan
Min: 97
Year: 2014

Hottie air hostesses Laura (Leslie Bibb) and Suzy (Jamie Chung) are talking as they wait for the passengers to board Flight 7500, which is headed to Japan. Suzy asks Laura about her relationship with the married airplane captain, Pete (Johnathon Schaech). Suzy, herself, is engaged, and they talk about that, too. Suzy seems to be happy. But, Laura questions this, based on her look in a single pic of with Suzy and her hubby to be. Soon, the passengers board the plane and our two, lovely ladies greet them. 

We are introduced to them ourselves, they include: newly weds Rick (Jerry Ferrara) and pretty but uber snotty and bitchy Liz (Nicky Whelan), goth hottie Jacinta (Scout Taylor-Compton), who sits next to them much to the chagrin of Liz but seeming pleasure of Rick (who could blame him, though?), Raquel (Christian Serratos) who is worried that she might be knocked up, two couples in the form of: Jenn (Aja Evans) and Jack (Ben Sharples) and Brad (Ryan Kwanten) and Pia (Amy Smart), who have recently and secretly broken up, Jake (Alex Frost), who is a scumbag thief, and creepy and suspicious businessman Lance (Rick Kelly) who boards on the plane with a wooden box.

During the flight, Lance has a panic attack and bleeds forth from his mouth. He ends up dying and his body is moved to first class, which is emptied out. And, wouldn't you know, creepy-ass shit begins to happen to those on the flight.  

Flight 7500 is one of the most delayed horror movies of the 2010's. I remember seeing the trailer that promised that it would come out on August 31, 2012. With the gorgeous female cast and the fact that Takashit Shimizu, he of Ju-on and The Grudge fame, was in the directing chair, my interest was piqued. But, the movie was pulled back in May 2012 for a 2013 release, then it was pulled again and seemingly completely disappeared. Then, out of the blue and with no fanfare, it hit video on demand and DVD on April 12, 2016! 

I finally got around to catching it. And, so the question is, is it as bad as all the delays and rescheduled release dates would have you believe? Well, no, but it is most certainly not a good flick either. I'll begin with what works, though.

First and foremost. the acting is solid throughout. Featuring a strong cast of actors you know from various other genre works, like Ryan Kwanten of True Blood, as Brad, all the characters are bought to life in a strong manner. Most of the characters are likable save for Frost's Jake who is easily the most dispicable character in the movie, Whelan's Liz, who is just too much of a twat, and Kelly's Lance, who well, is just plain, fucking creepy. Thus, it can be said that that they achieve the character's respective archetype strongly.

May, I also comment that the female cast is insanely hot? From a critical standpoint, this might not seem like it is all that important, as it isn't. But, I cannot fucking lie, it is ultimately a plus, at least for me, as having easy on the eyes ladies is always very welcomed. That they are all as talented as they are beautiful is even better. I mean just listen to this cast again, in case you seemingly lost it the first time around: Amy (The Butterfly Effect) Smart, Scout (Rob Zombie's Halloween 1&2) Taylor-Compton, Jamie (Sorority Row) Chung, Leslie (Trick 'R' Treat) Bibb, Christian (The Walking Dead) Searratos, and Nicky Whelan! Now, that, dear friends, is fucking hot!

There are also a couple of genuinely creepy moments, something Shimizu is obviously talented at. I also like the fact that it does not involve any female ghosts with long black hair, which some, myself included, might have thought that it did. The fear factor also ties into the movie's issues, though, as there simply isn't enough of them. You see, once the climax came, I was taken back, and thought to myself, wait, this is about to end?! Already?! It feels like after all the building up and slow burn of it, suddenly rushes to the ending and begins to throw in more scares and action cause it needs to, not cause it should. 

And, then there is that ending. It is suppose to be some sort of a twist, but the only reaction it got from me was, "really?!" It is funny that the character of Brad is watching a Twilight Zone episode (the classic Nightmare at 20,000 Feet, in which William Shatner's character sees a monster on the wing of the plane, that he is on, from his window seat). Why it's worth mentioning (other than the fact that both the episode in question and this movie both involve "scary" shit happening on a plane) because the movie thinks it is the classic series with its shock ending. Only it feels like a much more lazy edition of the Twilight Zone, than anything actually scary or shocking. It leaves you with a very ho-hum feeling when it is all said and done.

And, with this being a PG-13 movie there is no gore or nudity. Usually these types of movies, rely more on restraint and creepiness rather than splatter or boobies. But, some of the scary stuff begins to happen too fast, we don't actually see anything. I realize that is too keep what is happening to the passengers a secret, but it comes off a little frustrating at times. With that in mind, some gore would have helped the flick, and kicked it up a notch. 

Flight 7500 took forever to finally get released. You might think to yourself, as such, it's probably a flying turd. But, it really isn't that bad. Thing is it isn't really good, either. The movie is, however, just alright, truly middle of the road, or is it air? Well acted, with a beautiful, female cast, and a few creepy moments, it also suffer from not enough of them, not much happening, and a rushed climax. It also has a really lazy, twist ending. Unless, you are a fan of any of the cast, I can't surely recommend it. But, if you do see it and keep your expectations low, as I did, and you might get a little bit of enjoyment out of it. That being said, you probably shouldn't see this one before boarding a plane, yourself. 

 

 2 out of 4

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The Hottest Babes of 2009, pt. 1: 70-61

Ahh, it's that time again, when I pick the 70 hottest babes of the year. Last year this was such a success, with you readers, that I knew I had to do it again. Once, again the list is not only based on how much of a hottie a babe is, but also how many cool things she did this year. Thus, the hotter you are and the more output you have the higher you rank. And, as always I have zero desire to put in whatever interchangeable, untalented, overrated chick Hollywood shoves down your throat. So, if you are looking for any of the typical chicks who inhabit these lists look else where. Here, you will find mainstream actresses, metal chicks, internet models, porn actresses, b-movie babes, and maybe even a pop star, all ranked with the equal amount of love. By the way, next to each girl will be the ranking they had last year. Enjoy!

70. Sienna Miller (new) - G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was a total piece of shit, but Ms. Miller was smoking hot as my one of my all time favorite G.I. Joe characters, the Baroness. Yeah, I don't like the fact that she had no accent, and the way they changed her character was terrible. But, in the end she is one of the best things of this cinematic rape of my childhood. I gotta say black hair looks fucking smoldering on her!

69. Lzzy Hale (new) - The lead signer of hard rock band Halestorm is sexy as hell. First, off the band makes great, fun, and catchy pop tinged metal. Their video for I Get Off got some nice air play on Fuse. And, she was featured on Revolver's Hottest Chicks of Metal, this year.

68. Amy Smart (new) - This sexy blonde has long been one of my favs. It was great to see her in this year's over-the-top, violent, and wild Crank 2: High Voltage, as a stripper no less! Wish she would show more skin, though. Dear actresses reading this, if you are playing a stripper show the goods, please. I promise you will rank higher on this list. Thank you.

67. Anna Paquin (new) - Ms. Paquin is another actress I been a long time fan of. Seeing her nude on the truly excellent True Blood is always a pleasure. But, beyond being a total cutie with a nice rack, she is an excellent actress. The series hit a new high this year, and, in turn, so did she.

66. Daffney (new) - Daffney has always been one of my fav wrestling babes, since her days in WCW. So, I was so happy to see TNA bring her back. While, she looked cute as her Sarah Palin character, she looks her best as what she is: a HOT goth/ metal babe. Taz is so right to call her zombie hot. But, beyond that she takes some of the sickest bumps I ever seen anyone take, let alone a good looking woman!

65. Evan Rachel Wood (new) - She ended last year staring in the excellent The Wrestler, and she graced us with her beauty in True Blood, this year. Though, I have to sayIi was underwhelmed with her performance in it (and, usually I love her acting). But, she still made for a HOT vampire queen. Can I be your slave, Ms. Wood?

64. Alissa White-Gluz (last year- 67) - I really enjoyed the album by this babe's metalcore band, The Agonist. Lullabies for the Dormant Mind is a solid ass kicker. And, Alissa is the type of girl any metalhead would wanna date.

63. Jessica Bangkok (last year- 61) - One of the more unjustly underrated porn babes around, this curvy, Asian babe has a body that just drives me insane. And, like I said many times before, her name fucking owns!

62. Ellen Fox (new) - One of the two hosts of Current TV's Rotten Tomatoes show, Ellen is really funny. She's also happens to be really pretty and have nice tomatoes of her own.

61. Smith Cho (new) - This Korean babe started in that terrible, thankfully canceled, new Knight Rider series, in the surely miserable movie Fired Up, and got a role in Ugly Betty, this year. But, she is smoking hot and has beautiful face. Here's hoping she does something that does not suck next time.

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Now playing: Venom - Teacher's Pet
via FoxyTunes

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