4/22/2008

The Top 5 Assholes in Metal/ Hard Rock

Recent comments about downloading music by one Evan (Biohazard/ The Syderz) Seinfeld (porn name Syder Jones) made me pissed off enough to write this blog. Please, enjoy and tell me what other metal jackass, you think belongs on this list:

1. Lars Ulrich- there is no bigger offender on this list than this fucker, who looks like a fucking treasure troll. First there was the whole Napster thing. Yeah, you see he needs your fucking cash. He ain't rich enough, kiddies! Asshole. Anywho, then there is the whole sell-out thing. Gotta love the way the band jumps on metal trends. While some would argue that their last good album was And Justice for All, I did enjoy The Black Album. That said we can all agree that Load and Reload were horrid pieces of shit that jumped on the alternative band wagon. While, St. Anger tried to be nu-metal answering a question no one needed answer, "What would Metallica meets Slipknot sound like?". In Revolver magazine they said they loved bands like Trivium, Avenged Sevenfold, and Bullet for My Valentine. So expect them to be all metalcore for the next one. Yay! What a load of shit! Plus, he always comes off as so full of himself in interviews. He has even denied that he toured with Venom during their first tour (Cronos, himself, has said this), stating that their first tour was with Motorhead, instead. This band that once stood against the corporate metal of hair-bands and stood for the anti-establishment of thrash metal has become what they stood against. I mean we could go and on, so let's end it here, shall we?


2. Axel Rose - Perhaps the most mean-spirited of this group of dickheads, Axel thinks he so tough it is sad and pathetic. Remember when he challenged Vince Niel? Whatever came of that? Nothing. Cause he is a pussy. That's why. I mean Tommy Hilfinger beat him up! He has started riots, been mean to his fans, and even been a woman beater (a HUGE offense in my eyes). Axel is a scumbag, and there is no argument there. Cause of him one of the greatest hard rock bands ever, Guns N' Roses, broke up. he reformed it, with none of the original members, he announces US dates and cancels most of them. The album Chinese Democracy has been in production for what seems like decades. And, worst of all Geffen still gives him money? Why? This shit will never come out. Fuck Axel!


3. Gene Simmons - Kiss' frontman would sell his mother if he could put a Kiss logo on her. Truly, there are few greedier than him, or more self-centered. there was even a vid a year or so ago showing what a douche-bag he is! And, when was the last time we heard new, original Kiss music? Huh?! And, did they not do a million retirement tours? And, how many best of and live albums can one band put out? Plus, their last original album, Psycho Circus sucked ass. This guy may have slept with countless of women, but good God is he ugly. he looks better with make-up. Never take it off, bro.


4. Glen Benton- While Deicide, the band, is one of the finest death metal machines out there, their signer says the stupidest things in interviews, ever. So, we know he is scary cause he has an upside down cross burned on his fore-head, but to remind us further, he has: told us that he would die at 33 like Jesus Christ. Well, he is still alive. he said he was drunk when he said this. whatever. And, remember when he killed that squirrel during an interview? He regrets, now he says. Ditto for the cross, which he has to cover up when he picks up his kid. I think he even killed some rats, according to Metal Maniacs, to honor Satan. This lead to him getting banned from the rag for a few years. Recently, he told Decibal that he cannot tour (another dude from another death metal band sings for him live) because he cannot deal with the bullshit from the road, and because he cannot take the pain of the world, in places like Brazil. Again, I am sure I could on, but I will restate this: Deicide the band fucking rule! Benton, the person, not so much.


5. Evan Sienfeld- I was gonna mention Sab Bach, but Evan has pissed me off more recently, and out of this group of human beings, is the biggest disappointment. I even kind of thought Evan was cool. You see, to me a tried and true metal-head from NY, Biohazard was the most badass band ever. Recently, he said that downloading music is the same as stealing music, expect you don't have the balls to steal a CD from a store. Plus, he said the same goes with free porn, as you are taking money out of his pocket. What the fuck does the goddess known as Tera Patrick doing married to this douche bag? She could do so much better... And, shut the fuck up! At least Biohazard are reunited...


4 comments:

Alan said...

I completely forgot about Axel Rose. Good choice adding him to the list. He deserves to be on it.

Keith said...

I agree with your choices.

I remember Lars stating that he liked to collect bootleg albums in a pre-Napster interview. Hmmmmm...

And how about Simmons threatening to sue King Diamond for stealing his make-up design? He said fans were getting confused between the two performers(?!) Question for Gene - Ever heard of a guy that came out before you whose stage name is Alice Cooper? I don't remember him complaining that you copied his make-up design.

Master_Gio said...

Totally forgot about Simmons wanting to sure King Diamond. He had to change his make-up. Simmons is an ass.

Kim said...

Ahahhaha great post there!
Yeah all of them are assholes!

But I do enjoy the music they made (apart from Bio which I think its shit!)