2/14/2020

The 15 Best Horror Movies to Watch on Valentine's Day (That Don't Take Place on V-Day)

Valentine's Day, love it, hate it, or feel apathetic towards (I fall under the middle category), it's here today. It's also a long weekend, so I am guessing that many will be taking the chance to celebrate more. Well what if you want to share a horror movie with that special someone, but you don't know what to pop in? Or, what if you are lonely and you need some quality horror to make you feel better?  Well, whichever of the two the case maybe, this list is for you! Here you will find horror movies that are holiday appropriate and are sexy, erotic, wild, romantic, sweet, grotesque, or some combination there in. So dig right in!

NOTE: I am not including My Bloody Valentine (either one) or Valentine (2001), as they are too fucking obvious a choice. Besides, I figure for many those are already traditional watches, anyways.

15. Nekromantik 2 (1991)- Let's start with the most fucked up choice, cause why the hell not? A superior sequel, to me anyways, this one tells the touching and romantic tale of Monika (played by the impossibly beautiful Monika M.) who digs up the dead body of the dude from the first film. Afterwards, she tries to date and actually likes a nice guy, but finds herself more turned by dead and rotting corpses. It's kind of like a chick flick but with full frontal nudity, extreme gore, and necrophilia! This one will appeal to those into graphic and revolting gore and those into arthouse films, well so long as you are OK with the mixing of the two.
14. Under the Skin (2013)- This sexy and smart sci-fi/ horror/ arthouse movie is the thinking man's Species. Scarlett Johansson is a gorgeous alien which seduces men and leads them to their death. Beautifully shot and dream like, with the added bonus of rampant nudity from Scar Jo, this gorgeous and odd genre flick is definitely an arty and sexy pick.
13. The Neon Demon (2016)- And, here is one more for impressing that arthouse lovely from film class! Grotesque (but not on the extreme side like Nekromantik 2) and sexy, this allegory of the modeling world is one of the most beautiful horror movies of the 2010's! It isn't for everyone, but horror fans with an open mind and appreciation for gorgeous and hot horror, will find much to love.

12. Fascination (1979)- Jean Rollin is the undisputed master of the lesbian vampire film and this movie might be his sexiest (though not his best, that would be The Living Dead Girl). Beautiful women and a dream like feel mixes with eroticism, including both hetro and lesbian sex, vampirism, and bloodletting. Former French porn star, Brigitte Lahie, is a true vision of exquisite beauty and pure sexiness.

11. Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals (1977)- Sleaze master Joe D'Amato combines the softcore thriller with the cannibal horror movie in this sexy and very gory flick. It is one of the best of the Emanuelle series with some genuinely erotic moments, including lesbian sex involving the exotically beautiful Laura Gemser and a hot blonde. Probably the only Italian gut muncher to also be hot, it has the added bonus of no fucking cruelty to animals in it. In all, it makes for a great, fun, and erotic choice to watch.

10. The Vampire Lovers (1970)- If you wanna add some class and classic feel then, let's go with Hammer's The Vampire Lovers. The gorgeous and voluptuous Ingrid Pitt loves the ladies in this lush, sexy, early entry in the lesbian vampire film. While, tame by today's standards (it certainly raised eyebrows, among other things back then), it is still one of the finest lesbian vamp flicks ever, helped by the stunningly beautiful women in it. And, the presence of Peter Cushing and that Hammer style, give it an extra air of class.


9. Life After Beth (2014)- But, hey you need to add a chick flick in here, so why not throw in this great flick, which only misses the mark of greatness at the end. The movie is oddly sweet and romantic on top of being funny and throwing in some bloody gore for good measure. The beautiful Aubrey Plaza is wonderful and sympathetic in the title role, and remains a babe even as a zombie.


8. The Love Witch (2016)- This tale of a beautiful witch (the exquisite Samantha Robinson) looking for love and using love potions is truly enchanting. The film, itself, is sexy, beautiful, romantic, funny, entertaining, and strongly feminist. Robinson is a sight to behold and absolutely incredible in this wonderful date night pick.


7. Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)- This one is by and far the best sequel in the franchise. OK, considering that the entries after the first one, are hot garbage, that isn't saying much. But, honestly it is one of the 90's finest horror movies. A great mix of the sexy and very graphic gore, there is also a genuinely romantic heart to it. The impossibly beautiful Melinda Clarke as the zombie lead is excellent in her role. And, her sexy pierced alt-metal babe look makes this one a great choice for watching with that cute metal or goth girl of your dreams.

6. Emanuelle and Francoise (1975)- Made before D'Amato began shooting Emanuelle films with Gemser, he made this one. And, honestly, it might be his best of those films. It is most certainly his darkest entry in the "franchise". Graphic, sleazy, and unabashedly erotic, it is one of sexiest horror movies of this era. Lesbianism, cannibalism, meat cleaver mayhem, and rape revenge all mix in, and give us another pick for those looking for something on the more extreme side of sexy horror.

5. Crimson Peak (2015)- This mix of the Gothic romance film and ghost/ haunted house movie is one of the most beautiful horror movies around. It is also terribly underrated. A lush and stunning film, this Guillermo Del Toro flick is also one of the last decade's greatest horror movies. With it's beautiful cast of Mia Wasikowska and Jessica Chastain, as well as Loki, him-fucking-self, Tom Hiddleston, this is a great couple's choice for horror.


4. Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)- Speaking of lush and beautiful, this near perfect Dracula movie is probably the most sexy take on the Count. Francis Ford Coppola directs a visually stunning movie with a bunch of beautiful people and some truly hot moments including Keanu Reeves meeting the HOT brides of Dracula and Mina (Winona Ryder) getting visited by mist Dracula, to make one of the 90's most beloved bloodsucker movies.

3. Cat People (1982)- Few movies define the "gets better with age" thing than this gorgeous and undeniably erotic remake. Nudity and kink add to a movie that is both romantic and hot as fucking hell. Much of that is thanks to the perfectly beautiful Natassja Kinksi. Kinski is one of the most gorgeous women to have ever graced our beloved genre. And, I am sure that many would say that the David Bowie song, Putting Out Fire, is sexy all on its own.

2. Lifeforce (1985)- This wild cult classic, sci-fi/ horror flick from Tobe Hooper is his third finest hour (after The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Poltergeist, of course). It is also, argue ably, the sexiest horror movie of the 80s. Matilda May is an absolute goddess, and her full frontal nudity is alone hot enough to melt steel.


1. Vampyres (1974)- Jose Larraz' masterpiece remains, all these years later, the undisputed king of lesbian vampire movies. Sexy, hot, and gory, this is erotic horror at its very best. The double hotness wham of Marianne Morris and Anulka as they erotically share their victim's blood will get your blood simmering. This is how you make this type of movie, and this is the only one that could top this list!






So, are any of you planning to watch any of these tonight, with that special someone or by yourself? Let me know in the comments section below.

And, I would like to wish all of my female readers, a very happy Valentine's Day!

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