Entertainment Earth


The 10 Best Movies of 2009

Another great year for movie fans has passed. And, while there will always be shitty remakes and sequels and miserable films, in general, there were some real winners out there, in all genres. In fact, this was a real difficult list to make, there were many movies that just, barely did not make the cut. As always, the list is all encompassing and not the usual ass kissing that other sites and blogs may feel the need to do. So, if you are looking for boring, overrated shit, I suggest you look else where. All movies here are equal amounts of quality and entertainment.

10. Zombieland- - Many complain that the zombie sub-genre is getting over crowded, well maybe it is. But, as long as fun, cool movies like this are made, I won't fucking care. This is easily my fav role that Woody Harrelson (one of my favorite actors) has done in a long time. The humor is actually funny and the gore is kick ass. In other this is that hardest of things to do right: the horror comedy. The cameo is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the year's best, and funniest, cinematic moments.

9. Inglorious Basterds- - I have been a long time fan of Tarantino's work, but I will be the first to admit that Kill Bill Vol. 2 and, especially, Death Proof were crap, at least in my humble opinions, anyways. But, Tarantino has redeemed himself with this, his work in a long time. Sure it is kind of slow, at times, but the movie looks great. And, above that the acting is excellent, in particular that of Christopher Waltz as the evil lead Nazi, and the script is phenomenal. Those looking for carnage will love the graphic violence, particularly cheering for the bloody deaths of the piece of shit Nazi scum. The final twenty minutes or so had me on the edge of my seat and cheering. Fucking amazing.

8. Wonder Woman- - DC have doing an amazing job with their direct-to-DVD animated movies. But, even I did not think that they could pull off a movie this great, much less with a character that I was never a fan of. The animation is amazing and the voice acting great. The script is also fun, exciting, and mature. The fight scenes are totally kick ass and some of the violence is pretty shocking. If they ever make Wonder Woman into a live action movie, it will not be easy to top this one. In fact, this one is better than many a live action superhero movie.

7. Up- - For the second year in a row a pixar movie has made my list. Yeah, of course the animation is jaw dropping, but it is the heart here that really makes it shine. During the first fifteen minutes or so, there is little to no dialogue, and yet, I was crying. This movie touched my heart like few movies with a bunch of pointless melodrama could ever hope to achieve. But, it ain't all sad. It also happens to be funny, cute, and, in particular the climax, really exciting. Mark this one as another great hit for Pixar.

6. (500) Days of Summer- - Romantic movies usually suck. It's a fucking fact. And, I abhor chick flicks. But, this dear friends, is NOT a chick flick. In fact, written and directed by guys, the movie can be seen as a normal guy's take on romance. And, I think that is why it connects to guys, so well. What normal dude has not been where our lead is at in the film? But, upon further thought it does have a universal appeal that does pull in both sexes. In fact, few movies spoke to me on a more personal level than this one. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is just great in the movie. Zooey Deschanel is so damn good, as well. She is a babe, one that you will both love her and hate as she plays the role of Summer. Quite simply THE best romantic movie, in my eyes, since Secretary (although that movie is completely different, but you get my point).

5. Drag to Me Hell- - I been a Sam Raimi fan since I was a kid. In fact, Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn is one of the movies that influenced me to get into film. But, while I liked the first two Spider-Man movies (part three sucked Venom's dick); I always wanted him to go back to horror. I wondered, almost doubted he would. But, thank fucking God he did. And, in doing so he made his best film since Darkman. Having much of the same feel and style of Evil Dead 2, Drag Me to Hell is wild, fun, and highly entertaining. Even with the usually stifling PG-13 rating, this one delivers some pretty great gross out moments. Also, our lovely lead Alison Lohman is not only a babe, but she is a great actress. One really feels for her character cause she really doesn't deserve all the shit that happens to her, in this movie. While, Lorna Ravner is awesome as the villain. Their confrontation in the parking lot is one of most ass kicking and fun fights in a movie this year. It's a shame that this funny and suspenseful horror flick, did not become a big hit at the box office, while filth like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen made a shit load of cash.

4. District 9- - While, I have no clue if Peter Jackson will ever go back to the splatter film, at least he produced Neill Blomkamp's kick ass sci-fi flick. A smart, deep, thought provoking, multi-layered story is combined with great acting and awesome FX. It also happens to have some of the most impressive gore to bleed forth on a sci-fi since the days of Paul Verhoeven. Combing elements of Robocop and Cronenberg's The Fly, Blomkamp has a made modern classic of the genre. The fact that this film, made in New Zealand and featuring an unknown cast, made money at the box office gives me at least some hope in the cinema going audience.

3. Watchmen- - While, mainstream audiences did not get this one (too slow, too violent, too much sex, whatever the fuck was their complaint), real fans knew that this was a faithful adaptation to one of the great comic book stories ever told. Dark, violent, mature, smart, enthralling, and eye popping this is one of the finest superhero films, ever made. Everyone is so good in their role, but it is Jackie Earl Haley that gives a breakthrough performance as unbalanced but heroic vigilante Rorschach. Not an easy book to adopt, the movie stays close to the source material making only changes that benefit it cinematically. The DVD release of the Ultimate Cut is THE definitive version of this movie, and THE finest DVD release of the year.

2. Martyrs- - Man, the French continue to make the type of horror films America just does not have the balls to fucking do. This movie is brutal, harrowing, and truly horrific. It's a film that makes you feel like the victims, as by the end of the movie I was left scarred, beaten, and brutalized. The movie is divided into three sections, and I realize some have complained about the third section. But, if you get it, it really does work. There is a richness and deepness here that goes well beyond the gore and shock (even if it does deliver some of the most outright nightmarish examples of that in 2009). Any film that manages to affect on level that is so deep as this one has to be admired.

1. Thirst- - Chan Wook Park is the man. There should be a fucking alter for this director, for fans to worship at. Perhaps, the single best director currently making movies; he hits gold again with this flawless and entertaining take on vampires. While, Hollywood has defanged vamps with the pussified Twilight series; Park takes the sub-genre into an exciting manner. Compiled with his artistic directing and the two excellent leads, Thirst is the finest bloodsucker movie since From Dusk Till Dawn. It is equally fun, funny, horrific, and smart. It also hits the mark as far as sex and gore goes, and Kim Ok-Bin is the single most beautiful and captivating woman to ever play a vampire. She also happens to be one of my picks for hottest babes of the year. The movie got a limited release, so you may not have seen, but I beg you to get your ass to seeing the newly released DVD. Though, I for one, will hold out for a DVD when one with more extras gets released, as this one is as bare bones as it fucking gets. Regardless, Park is an amazing director, and this movie serves to further cement him as one of the finest cinematic voices in the history of genre film making.

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